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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I am the mother of 2 boys who live with me. I went to court

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I am the mother of 2 boys who live with me. I went to court with their father and a court order was sorted out. Initially he had the boys for a Friday and Saturday night, two weekends out of three. Soon after he said that because of work he could only have them on the Saturday. I have always taken my boys when they were supposed to go but he has mucked me about a lot, changing times, not being there when we arrive etc. The last year has been okay though. Recently he has got into another relationship and all of a sudden he keeps letting them down again. He had no contact for six weeks for no reason and then thought he could just change the times of his next visit with minimal notice, ie the night before. He has asked for a change in the contact now so he wants them a Saturday night every other weekend and I was fine with this. My problem is that my pick up time for the boys on a Sunday is 7.30pm because of school the next day. He wanted them until 8pm today but only gave me just over an hours notice, so I said no. I turned up at the house and he refused to let them out until 8pm. Where do I stand with this? He thinks that he can do as he pleases but this is not fair on me or the boys.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My youngest is 8, he'll be 9 on August 8th.


The other is 10, 11 on 12th November.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Are they Ok with the new contact pattern?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Alternate Saturdays is fine with them and me. Before this he was always cancelling. This way it means they get to see him on a regular basis. My problem is the pick up. For school I have always picked them up at 7.30 on the Sunday night. By him not letting me have them until 8pm, despite me saying he couldn't have them longer, is not on. He thinks he can change times whenever he feels like it. What I want to know is can I stop this?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
You are certainly entitled to revert back to the original arrangements and say that he either abides by those arrangements or has no contact
The problem is that I am not certain that that is what you actually wish to do!
To change things in a way that remains child centred (rather than father centred) you should try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) and then apply to the court for a Consent Order setting out the new arrangements
If mediation fails then you may wish to consider applying to the court for a new Child Arrangement Order varying the existing a agreement - and setting a Reasonable return time which would then be enforceable.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
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