I am not working now and have no income other than the amount I get from my husband each month. My husband has been employed for 4 months as a tax director with an accountancy firm in Aberdeen, earning £100k pa, net take home pay of £5,186. He has been paying me £2,000 per month which is intended to cover Steph's private school fees (standing order of £1,209pm and the balance being maintenance), and says he will increase this to £2,500 from next month. This will not cover my costs.
We have just sold our jointly owned property and after settling joint debts have £46,718 in our joint account. Since January, we have lived off credit cards and my pension refund, so as at today, I have credit cards/loans of some £15,000 and he has £42,000. He says he wants me to pay off my debts and retain enough funds to support my living costs whilst I am waiting for a gallbladder removal operation and searching for a job.
The house had been rented out whilst we were living in Guernsey from 2007, and when we returned to the UK in Jan 2014, we agreed that we would move to Solihull as we had found a good school for our daughter here. We had lived here some 14 years ago so knew people and the area well. At this point my husband was saying that he would find a job here and move down. Whilst looking for a job, he moved into the house in Norfolk and was decorating it with a view to renting out again or sell if the market picked up. We both found jobs in June but by then we had borrowed so much on credit to fund living expenses (and his affair) that selling the house seemed the only sensible option as we needed the money and it seemed unlikely that we would live there In the short term. The reasons for this was the location of school for our daughter and our respective jobs. Also, possibly never again as a family as he seems to have no intention of ending the affair (since Nov 2012 I think) and owes a substantial sum of money to his girlfriend and her brother in law.
I was a tax manager at a local accountancy firm in Birmingham earning £45k however lost the job as I did not meet expectations. I had left my previous job as a senior tax manager in Guernsey earning £80k to support my husband in his pursuit of partnership at PwC (earning£150k) and take on home responsibilities including childcare in Feb 2012 when our nanny left - our daughter was 12 at the time. I had to accept that I was simply not up to the job as I have been out of the tax market and workplace for two & half years now, and am not as technically competent in UK tax as I used to be. I have also decided that it is very important that I am around to support our daughter as she had been self-harming so I am looking for a part time job doing anything that gets me home by 4.30pm.
This is an expensive area and we are a 7 minute walk from her school and 10 minute walk in opposite direction to the town centre. A 2 bed house in this area would be in the region of £450K+ however up to a 10 mile radius could see similar property (council estate) for £150k. Our daughter is at a private school so we are not limited to living in this area. We are renting a 3 bed unfurnished terraced house for £1,350pm. My husband is in a new build, 2 bed furnished flat for £1,100pm close to Aberdeen city centre.
Yes I would and have been looking around for something.
No he does not have a private pension however does have a couple of occupational pensions from previous jobs and is in the pension scheme at his current employment. All the rights, including death insurance and his death in service benefit name me as the beneficiary and are written in trust to me, as necessary, as he wants me to benefit nto a subsequent partner.
No - there are no shared hone ownership schemes in this area. The nearest ones tend to be in poorer areas as the local authorities are trying to regenerate those areas.
My husband has said that he will help me buy a house and I think he will honour this.
There are no shared home ownership schemes in this area. My husband has said that he would support me in buying a property once our financial position is more secure ie now that the house has sold and he is permanent at his current employment (as has only been there a few months at the moment).
Hmmm that's a difficult question. I/We don't want to start Divorce proceedings because I think we have just hit a tough patch and we have agreed that we need time apart before we go down that route.
An informal separation is fine in principle but he is still having the affair so I want to make sure that I know my rights, specifically now that he is living in Scotland and may have his girlfriend move in with him. Our daughter is my priority and I need to know where I stand so thought a formal separation would give this clarity.
Thank you for this. Very useful information.