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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 70013
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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Hi Im really hoping you can help I have just recently split

Customer Question

Hi I'm really hoping you can help I have just recently split from an over controlling and mentally abusive relationship as I found out my ex fiance was cheating on me but now he s getting nasty he promised me the car and a grand towards a new car but when he came the following day he was shouting and balling graded me by the throat and went to kick me but I moved an put his foot through the TV I called the police and he promised in front of them that I could have the car and the money then when the police let him go demanded I return the 1 ooo which I did he then bombarded me with messages on a what's app messenger unfortunately I deleted it all as I didn't want to keep reading them I'm trying to find an it expert to recover them also I have suffered server mental abuse over the past 12 months to where I'm just a shell .I know he s a professional boxer he also has told me about things he has done to ppl in the past I am absolutely scared witless for me and my children he Will hurt me my property or even worse my children .They have also seen the abuse he has caused too .Can I press charges .I also taped the while entire incident in my home as I was scared witless he also told the police I could have the car and the money and now . Have I got grounds to press charges ??
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Hi.
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
What do you want to press charges over? We don't press charges in the uk. We make reports to the police.
If you mean I've the car and money then the police will not be interested in that as that is a civil dispute. The messages may have amounted to harassment but you have deleted them. They would probably give him a warning not to contact you though but he will then use that as an excuse not to discuss returning the items to you so its counter productive.
I'm afraid that this is just the breakdown of a relationship and the consequent division of goods which is a matter for the civil courts. You can sue to recover anything that belongs to you or to which you have contributed financially and you will win but the police will not reclaim it for you.
If you are the registered keeper of the car then you have a right to possession but thats a matter for the civil courts if he refuses.
Can I clarify anything for you?
Jo
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My worry is the safety of me and my children and property which he has verbally threatened many times before I also recorded him threatening to empty the house if I didn't comply to his demands which on the tape recorder I clearly state the children are not his but he has done many bad things to women in past relationships I can't under estimate him

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Yes but he hasnt done anything. The police cant act upon mere suspicion and aalso he will say that you have made this allegation to get revenge and the timing of the allegation would support that unfortunately. Its always a damaging point when people wait until immediately after a breakup to make claims of abuse. Unfortunately some people do raise domestic abuse to gain sympathy and avoid the consequences of their actions which sadly has an impact upon all reports
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 70013
Experience: Over 5 years in practice
Jo C. and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The car and log book is solely in my name but the 2 dogs have both our names where do I stand with that and if I can retrieve the what's app messgs of him giving me the car and money as a gift where would I stand on that ??

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
If you are the registered keeper then you have the right to possession but not ownership necessarily.

The money is a stand alone point. Its not very likely that a Court would accept that was a gift. Partners do give each other expensive gifts but not usually sums of cash. They are just not romantic gestures.

The car is slightly different. A car can be a romantic gift but if he starts saying that it was jointly owned then a court may well accept that. I don’t think that judges believe it very often. I think that they just think it meets the justice to give both partners a share.

The family dogs are entirely different. They obviously are unique and you cannot be compensated by the sum of money they are worth. You can seek a declaration of ownership and a consequent possession order. The problem there is that a court would almost certainly say they are jointly owned and the appropriate order is to order sale of the dogs and the proceeds split between you. However, that does usually lead to a compromise between the parties and neither side wants that to happen to their dogs so its sometimes worth doing.

If you paid anything towards the vehicle or the dogs then you will recover a sum arising from that.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Well things went from bas to worse yesterday him and is mother are threatening to report the vehicle stolen even tho I have it on voice recording and in front of police that I could keep the car it wasn't rill after the assault and the police had been now he s getting nasty I wanted to make a complaint bur was waiting for an I t expert to bring up all the lots of messages he sent me threatening if I dosent give him the 1 dog he wouldn't let me have the car as we have the 2 dogs but iv given him the 1 as a fair split now he s threatening he wants h to year he did pay for him but I'm the the been looking after him while he s been in afghan for 2 years and after some heart ache he agreed I could re home him as o couldn't afford to look after so my brother had him for his 3 year old step daughter

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
If you are the registered keeper then the police are not likely to investigate this as a theft.

I really would stop getting the police involved in this. Its just encouraging him to do the same as its a relationship dispute for you to sort out.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

He was the 1 involving the police he wanted me to drop my compliant in return for his but how can I trust he won't go back on it

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
No, its difficult to do that now but I think above you said that you called the police first. That is going to prompt him to do the same thing.

They won't let you drop the complaint anyway. They will summons you although it would appear that its been dismissed anyway from what you have said.

My point is that if you stop involving the police from this point onwards it might be that he would do the same.

This is just a civil dispute. If you paid money towards any of these assets then you do have a very good claim but its not one that is solved by involving the police and making allegations of abuse.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have his threats on tape believe me I'm taking this very seriously I don't feel safe In my own home and are having cameras around the house installed u have to make sure I'm never ever alone as I just don't feel safe I have seen him and his new girlfriend drive past the house although I'm pretty sure that car is his new girlfriend I can't be sure so he is watching the house scared atm is an understatement

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
OK. Best of luck.

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