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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
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Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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Can I take out a Civil injunction against my son who has over

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Can I take out a Civil injunction against my son who has over many years been threatening and violent towards me and has indeed been taken to court - Magistrates Court - as a result. Last Sunday, 12th October, when I switched my mobile on there was a message from my daughter who is based and living in Brighton to say that her brother had lost his bankers card and was in need of some money to buy food until he could get to the bank the following day (Monday). As I do not see my son due to his past aggression towards me, physical and verbal, I asked my male lodger if he would come with me and hand £20 to my son. He was fine with this as he had met him some 3 years ago when he - lodger - stayed here in my house .. he was and is this time on a short term contract at nearby nuclear plant. I parked in adjacent church car-park to my son's flat and gave money to lodger who duly went to my son's door. They shook hands and £20 note was handed to my son. MY son then proceeded to come over to my car let himself in and say right let's go to yours for a cup of tea which I duly said I didn't think was a good idea. Basically he would not accept this i.e. that I didn't wish this to happen and that I had only come over to give him some money to help him to buy some food. I offered to take him to nearby food shop but he adamantly declined and said no he wanted to go to mine for a cup of tea. Quite a lot of time passed in this impasse and eventually my lodger said he didn't think my son was listening but from where he was sitting it was clear that his mother didn't want to have a up of tea with him (son). Then some very bad language was issued at my lodger. IN then end my lodger said I don't know about you but I'm going for a walk are you coming - to me? I did so and we both left my car only to be followed - my son walking right behind lodger in an ape like walk and I have since learnt making damning threats to him - lodger. I caught up with them and as nearby coffee shop was open said let's go in there which lodger and I did. Again only to be followed by my son. We ordered our drinks then son ordered his and we went through to back room. MY son came through and was constantly goading my lodger with threats and foul language. At this stage my lodger was still keeping a s calm as he could but then my son suggested he knew people who would do nasty things.
My son then went into back garden avoiding any response to him. We left and went back to my car . I locked the car doors from inside and then lodger noticed my son had left his keys on the back seat. At this moment of realisation we looked up to see my son banging on the window, my driver's window and I opened it slightly to hand keys to him before leaving. I did this and then he tried to bash in my window, fortunately unsuccessfully. He then walked round to passenger front window and kicked it in with his full force and shattered the entire window showering glass everywhere. I was feeling very very vulnerable and shaky but my lodger said just drive away which I managed to do. I stopped a little way away and out of sight of son and called the police. Since I have spoken to them and have a crime no. but basically on interview my son has totally denied breaking the window and even when questioned 'did he know who did' he said 'no'. It is absolutely incredible and ridiculous but yet again I am the one left in fear of him turning up at my home and if I didn't let him in which is what the police suggest, he could merely break a window and physically hurt me. He is a dangerous person in my eyes, presents a nice educated well-mannered young man of 27 to others but his flip side is dangerous to me. I do not endeavour to see him but he is and has done in the past able to get a taxi and turn up uninvited and unannounced on my doorstep. The police advise me that I can press charges but as there are no independent witnesses and he denies the charge anyway the CPS could turn it out .. is that the right expression? I am a 65 year old divorcee, my ex-husband works abroad in Doha, Qatar and anyway perceives himself as the jilted lover and I have no means of protection from him.
Hence I am now inquiring if I can take out a personal injunction as it seems the police can't protect me other than to say just don't answer the door if he comes over suddenly.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Hi.
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
The reason the police are reluctant to pursue this is this I'm afraid. The difficulty is that you are not fully estranged. It is ultimately a matter for you whether you want to be estranged but court orders will not be useful until you do.
Come what may, you were supplying him with money even indirectly. Therefore, it gets difficult to argue that he is harassing you by coming over alone. Obviously his subsequent behaviour may very well be unreasonable but harassment is a lot easier to prove if you are not engaging at all.
In terms of a civil action, you could sue for harassment but you will face a similar problem. You can't blow hot and cold I'm afraid. If you seek an order that will bite, you need to cut him off completely.
But you do have a claim in principle. You will have to fund it though so don't take that action lightly.
Can I clarify anything for you?
Jo
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Dear Jo

I was responding to my daughter saying 'Mummy you know you would do it if I was in the same situation' again a little like being piggy in the middle type of thing. I am estranged but clearly not sufficiently in the eyes of the law is how I am interpreting all this. I have changed my landline telephone no. and not informed either my son, or my daughter - we communicate via mobile anyway - or my ex hushand simply because I do not wish to speak to him and he would try phoning me late at night repeatedly.

I just want to make sure he does not come to my home and damage my property or car for that matter or even cause me harm that is all.

I feel like shouting HELP... and I am sure you understand. Is there basically zilch I can do to protect myself and property then?

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
No, there are options for you but they will only work if you cut off all contact entirely.
You can't get these orders unless you are truly estranged and you behave in a way that is consistent with that.

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