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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33293
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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To whom it may concern. I have a situation with my sons

Customer Question

To whom it may concern.
I have a situation with my sons father. At the moment he isn't on the birth certificate as he wasn't present at birth. He is a South African citizen and is currently on a access visa that isn't permanent. After searching for him I managed to find him and inform him that he had a son but I didn't want any help or wasn't looking for anything. In event he decided that he wanted to be a part of his sons life and I didn't object however i never amended the birth certificate as I wanted to be sure that he wasn't just using me or my son for visa rights as I found out that he had gotten another women pregnant an American she aborted. Now im just concerned that he is pressuring me after we have tried a relationship that has failed, threatening to take me to court. I would just like to know what my options are, if he does take it to court is there anyway I can object to having his name on the birth certificate? I have never denied him access to Tiago and have kept him involved in decision making. Im just worried that all of a sudden he seems to make demands when before it wasn't an issue. I was going to change the birth certificate eventually but when I decided to end the relationship he threatened to take custody of our son. I was just waiting to know more about him to be sure of his intentions and lately I dont feel so safe about him especially when he told me he never had intentions of staying in the UK. Im just confused im trying to be fair but im worried.
I appreciate any help or any direction you can point me to for this matter
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child and what contact is the father actually having?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi. My son is 20 months old and his dad sees him on a regular basis. Although its when he wants to and if I disagree he threatens me. I'm trying to work in a schedule that is consistent but his father keeps insinuating that I'm trying to keep his son away from him. I'm worried about my son

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What is the current schedule?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

We decided that he could see Tiago everyday from 11am for a few hours. He comes and picks Tiago up then they go out. He doesnt always come at this time some days he has an excuse but I don't give him a hard time. He had the responsibility to feed him lunch till tonight. when He admitted to me via message that he doesn't follow through with Tiagos routine because he doesn't have to agree with me and my son has lunch at 12 since he was born. I make an effort to have a consistent routine and his father knows this. So I decided to change the times from 11 to 1. Now he is angry and threatens to fight me. What should I do? He has even begun threatening my sister that is 38weeks pregnant. He somehow feels that I'm abusing my right as a mother and he should have Tiago 50% of the time. I don't know how else to tell him that it's not possible. Please some advice?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
How long is his visa actually for?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

his visa will be reviewed next year September. He got a 2 year access visa.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What time was he bringing the child home usually - until the change
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

2/3 pm.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Just to check - has he not been giving the child lunch at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

he says he feeds him but he doesn't always follow his routine. I'm never with them so I can't confirm that

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
He is entitled to apply to have his name added to the birth certificate - and if he is the biological father this will be granted.
He can separately apply for Parental Responsibility for the child and given his involvement with and clear commitment to the child it is likely to be granted.
Given the difficulties that have arisen it would be sensible to try and agree a Parenting Plan with your ex using Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk)
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need more details
Clare

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