3 and 10 month old .. because all day i am doing mummy duties cooking cleaning ..
no friends and family near
please answer my question it is urgent
yes clare hello
i am back
i have few more questions for you .
i am sorry i am on my own with 2 little ones . and so much going on in my life .
would u be happy to guide me ??
hello clare thank you
(1) when he applied to court for child contact i refused it and agreed for mediation . the non-molestation order was ended and v were allowed tp go home as a family and try mending everything .
question is does this mediation period count as his contact with the children ? will the court consider it as such , if he applies for contact again . whereas he never visited regularly as he works all day and was never interested in meeting children , rather avoided visiting whilst they were awake . always texted to ask if they were sleeping all he ever came was for sex .
i were in touch with him for 6 months over fone on and off . as he kept annoying me . he stole the marriage certificate and my son's birth certificate from my purse in the month of october '14 .
he tried to obtain a letter from the mediator saying he was in regular contact with children instruction him not to tell me anything about this request of his . which was refused by the mediator as he could not legally do this . he back-stabbed me .
(2) if i initiate divorce now , would the judge force me to give him contact as i want to refuse it again . because he he is preaching my children a different religion to mine . and is always screaming at my daughter .and does not want to spend money on them . has not paid maintenance in the 11 month separation .
and is only after child contact because needs it for getting hold of further leave to remain in the UK his spouse visa expires next month end .
(3) if i do not divorce him now and if he goes back to his home country pakistan . can i start divorce whilst he is there .
would that be better .
i just cannot give him child contact . he used me . he now wants to use my children .
i know for a fact if he gets hold of FLR he would not even turn back to look at us . he does not give a damn about us .
no i have not offered any contact at all .
he only visited my home sometimes to prove he was meeting children .
will this mediation period count as child contact clare ?
is there no way i can get him out of our lives ?
is there no way i can convince the court he does not deserve contact .
clare i spent everything on this man . he ruined me completely financially and emotionally .
he only screams at older daughter and son he says dirty things to the 10 month old like .. ''we will find women together .u will f**k the daughter and i will f**k the mother '' .
he only wants contact for FLR
is there no way he can be deported . can i request it to UKVI
hi clare how are you
sorry for late reply
dear clare i am sure you understand well he would not behave bad in a contact centre . he is very clever
clare you know last year when the non-molestation order existed , he was foning me , visiting me everything. so many times i thought of reporting him , but he threatened me he would kill me if i opened my mouth . and he said he will make sure the children go into care . i wish i had reported then .
i wish even now i can take courage to report him . but will the police do anything as the order does not exist no more . also i have evidence to prove . he was in contact .
would i be punished . as it was nit my fault because each time he threatened me .
last incident of violence was 20/11/2014 . was arrested then . for marital rape . is on police bail now .
should i tell officer incharge of his breach of non mol order last year .
they are investigating and see if he is charged .
if they let him go he will make my life hell . may b even kill me
last year he got away with the ABH for which he was charged . but marital rape was dropped as no evidence .
but he did it again . and a condom wrapper with his prints and bed sheet is with the officers now .
i await results .
yes and only thing worrying now is that social services are involved and they just want to prove im not protecting the kids ,.
if i did report old breaches woud thhey take kids from me . if i have confirmation they cannot as i look after them more than myself . then i can call police tmrw and inform them .
can i meet with u clare ? where r u based . i am in london
do u believe he will be charged with rape ?
only referred to social services as child in need
should u report last years breaches to officer incharge ?
do u feel the will charge him of marital rape this second time ?
yes that is why i am keeping in touch hope you dont mind clare
yes clare i still need to keep in touch with you
i will email you on monday
in the meanwhile you must enjoy ur christmas
marry christmas and a happy new year
1. i had written to curtailments have not heard anything from them yet . his visa expires mid january.
2. i need your final advice on if i should go ahead and tell the police about his violation of the non molestation order he was calling me meeting me took me to a hotel on 3 separate occasions .
would social services take my children away upon hearing this ?
he used to say he would kill himself if i didnt come i just wanted him punished for what he did to me . never wanted someone to suicide .
hotel has cctv .. can b proved that we went there
3. if i tell them now would i sound dumb ? or desperate for getting him punished ?
4. how does curtailments work ? informed them end nov 14 . visa expires mid jan 15
5. if he applies to court for contact ?
6. how does it all work out ?
7. can they deport him if he gets a criminal conviction from marital rape and harassing by coming over and making an argument over demanding my fone from outside home window and threatening to kill me .
plz reply my life is trapped in these questions that i have put in front of you . please reply me with your best expertise .
i am a very helpless mother of two young children all on my own .
await your urgent reply .
thank you Clare
u r the best
will keep u updated
and if i am in any trouble ever u will be the first person i will turn to get advice
will write again shortly
hope u have a happy new year
hope u r well
another problem now .
to apply for divorce .. i need to get hold of legal aid .. for legal aid i need a copy of the charge sheet from lat year when my husband was charged with abh .
i have spoken to the uxbridge police station , the public access office and 101 they all say i cannot get another persons information .
please advise . what route to take .
i am feeling very sad and low . sometimes i lose my hope .
all day my poor little children . my whole body aches of holding them and taking care of them all day long . now they have slept so i am writing to you . i am so tired . but no one understands . no help .
i have not heard back from curtailments .
you know his visa expires in 10 days . do you think he can apply for contact and can get a hearing in time and make an application to the HO for FLR ?
what do u think are his possibilities ?
and his bail has been extended to the end of this month . until then the decision will b taken should he or should he not be charged with the criminal acts .
does this mean his visa has been extended too .
what do u think is going on . please tell me with your experience of whats going on ,
non-mol was ended for mediation to take place
my new worry is i have just got a copy of his passport in my email
the visa page says : VISA LEAVE TO REMAIN OUTSIDE OF RULES valid from 23/10/12 to 23/01/15
what does this mean . was this a spouse visa ?
he as soon as he came in UK he started saying i dont need u anymore i got my visa yes i used u .
and the solicitor i paid to get him here , he is behind all the hard time i have faced . he advised him u dont need her now and my husband started mistreating me and harassing me . for past 2 years .
i really feel i have been a Victim of Fraud .
my husband planned it from beginning till end .
will Curtailments work . did u have the right to write to them to request Curtailment of his visa .
what visa is that ?
and what ways would he b able to extend it .
i have not slept all night yesterday night
and tomorrow morning social service sis having a meeting at my baby's montessori
she said they have decided to put my children up as Child in Need .
what is a Child in Need
do i have to agree to this ? what will be the best way to deal with them
do i have to sign any more papers ?
i am fed up
police social services are now harassing me and he is enjoying himself with other women , working making money
that is the visa he entered with .
it is not a spouse visa i think
and i sent a letter to curtailments to cancel ..
i wonder if i were entitled to request so .
his Entry Clearance visa was this now due to expire 23/01/15
can he simply extend it on basis of work which he has in uk ?
would he need to show he is with family or child contact to extend it ?
or does he not need us ?
that means he used us all
and now v r tissue papers