She did say that he had not been physically violent - but said that she felt that the mental cruelty was just as bad or worse. Although I now remember that he did push her and the middle boy had to intervene and tell him not to hurt his mum. He had also said that he had friends who he could get to "beat her up"
The middle boy may be a bit tied as his father drives him to his judo and rugby competitions and matches - which he is very good at - and has told him that if he interferes he won't take him anywhere -although I feel that he would not really want to stay otherwise. I'm not sure about the elder boy - I feel he has always been a victim of the verbal bullying and may not want to stand up to it - but not really sure - I know he is 18 but he has not got a very well paid or full time job. It's difficult for me to find out quickly as we can't speak much and I am living 300 miles away.
The father is named on all the birth certificates.
Because I have not been able to speak at length to her I don't really know. I think that she wouldn't mind as long as he isn't there. But she would also - if she had to - take the youngest and any of the older boys that would come. I know she does not want to leave her boys.
I am due to speak to her tomorrow if I can - but it's not always possible. I can't even text her as if he is there he may hear the text and she has had to hide the fact that she has a mobile phone. Is it ok to wait until tomorrow to see if I can speak to her and let you know then?
Hi Clare - thank you for the web address - which I have passed on to my niece.
I was able to speak to her this morning and she said that ideally she would like to stay in the property as it would be better for all of them - her elder boy in particular finds change difficult at this stage - and she would prefer her partner to go.
I think this particular behaviour started round about May this year - but has been really bad since July.
I do know, though, that he has always been very verbal.
I believe it is a rolling term
I think it is just a distant relationship - she doesn't contact him that much - only when she really has to.
Thank you very much for the information you have given to me. It has been very helpful.
I did also ask how it would affect me as a guarantor if she was to leave. Could you please let me know.
Thank you - just one more question - as the tenancy is in both their names - although the housing benefit is in hers - if she leaves and he stays how does that leave me? Presumably she can end the tenancy in these circumstances. They did tell me when I said in the beginning that I would not be able to afford anything after I retired that I shouldn't worry - it was only so that they could move into the house - also the landlord has dispensed with the agents services so would this still apply?
But if they are both tenants and she leaves can she end the tenancy - or say that the tenancy has now changed because she is no longer there?