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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34106
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My partner and I have been together almost 3 years. I gave

Customer Question

My partner and I have been together almost 3 years. I have 2 children with someone else and I'm due to have my partner baby in March, we are then getting married in July.
My partner has a child with a girl that he had a 1 night stand with 4 years ago. The girl had never allowed him to have any contact, so last year he decided to apply to the court to try and get some contact. Cafcass got involved, did their section 7 report and decided to everyones disbelief to not support any kind of contact. My partner when he was younger used to get in lots of trouble, kind of a typical teenage thing, getting in the wrong crowd ect and ended up going to prison years ago. But has not been in trouble since then (6 years ago) until July this year when he was attacked by a group of lads on a night out. Someone was bit on the face and ended up with 8 stitches in his face. This was not done by my partner, but my partner has been charged for it and I'd having to go to crown court. This is why cafcass will not support any contact with my partner and his daughter.
Anyway a few days ago somebody from social services knocked on my door and said a referral has been made by that cafcass officer saying my children are at risk because of my partner.
Like I said, I have been with my partner almost 3 years. We are totally happy. I'm so excited to be getting married, my children adore him, we have never had any problems, arguments, the police have never been called to my house. He is the most loving and gentle person, I'm shocked and scared to death this is happened to us, just from my partner trying to get contact with his own daughter, especially now with are own baby in the way. If they have denied my partner any access to his own child, will they consider him 2 dangerous to be around my children? And our new baby? I'm terrified if they chose to get involved with us they will tell my ex partner about the situation and he will try to get custody of my children. I'm so scared, their visit has terrified me. I've heard nothing from them, I'm not sleeping at night thinking about it, and worrying. My ex hates my partner because of the lively relationship he has with the kids. If he gets wind of this he will almost certainly try to cause even more trouble.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is the nature of his past convictions?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
They were violence. Pub brawling ect. None against women or children or any domestic violence. More just being young and silly. Driving whilst band also. There is 18 charges 11 convictions but from a long time ago. I've read so many horror stories on line about social services making you chose between father and child.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Has this record been confirmed to you by Social Services?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What was the worst of them?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Prison for gbh 6 years ago, but like I said he's been charged with an abh recently, but it likely this will be dropped from court due to no evidence
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Can someone reply please, I was paying for a quick response!!
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
My apologies for the delay
Until the case is indeed dropped then you are going to have problems with Social Services - and they are very frightening to deal with so you are NOT over reacting.
HOWEVER if the case is dropped then you will be in a much stronger position.
There have been no other incidents in the last six years and accordingly they will struggle to prove that your partner is a risk to you and your children.
They will however make a very big deal of the violence and will almost undoubtedly subtly suggest that they can take the children away from you if you stay together.
They can't.
Children can only be taken away if they can prove that the there is a high risk of abuse - and they have NO evidence of that.
What you need to do however is NOT be dismissive of their concerns or his record.
You say that you do understand their concerns and that you and your partner have discussed his record and what has happened in the past if appropriate an Anger Management course may be worthwhile - not because he needs it but because Social Services will see it as a positive move.
Your doing an (unnecessary) Freedom Course may also reassure them
Stay calm when dealing with them and as I said make them feel that you respect their concerns
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Could my ex partner get anywhere with trying to take my other children should socisl services get involved?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What contact does he have at the moment?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
We have a contact order, he actually was a domestic violent partner, I did the freadom program after my relationship with him. But court is all over now with him and he has the children every other wknd and Amish half the the holidays. But he works long hours and in another city. He wouldn't be able to get them to and from school, he lives an hour and half away
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
There is a risk involved especially if the charges are not dropped.
However given that this would require a change of schools to be practical I do not think Social Services will support him if they are dropped
Clare
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
I am sorry - Could you let me know what further details you require - I am happy to continue!
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I don't think I could bare losing my children to my ex. If they get involved, obviously my ex will be informed. Could I agree to separate from my partner in order to keep my children? And would we ever be able to be a family again?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I will not say do not worry as you cannot help but worry.
However yes well before the crisis arose you could agree not to live with your partner and not to let him near the children.
You can then start to do whatever work Social Services deem necessary to enable you to be a family again
For now do another Freedom course - it will reassure Social Services!
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ok thank you. I am terribly worried. When they visited on Monday, they did say that everything looked ok, and on face value they don't see a problem but will have to investigate more with police records ect as they only had a a referral letter with my partners convictions on. im worried that if they look into my background as see I've previously had a domestic violent relationship they might think that's what's happening again despite there being no evidence to say I am in a domestic violent relationship with the police.
They spoke to my children who both said they felt happy, comfortable and loved my partner, and we didn't dismiss their concerns, we both said we did understand why they would be concerned with how it looked on paper.
They did indicate they were happy on the day, but once they have dug a little deeper, it all all change.
Thanks again for you help.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
It sounds fine - and I would say if it didn't
Do the Freedom course, have your partner do an Anger Management and that will show that you take the issues seriously
Clare