I have seen Archie (10) in his school play along with my parents and things were great between us and him. Felix (12) was surprisingly absent and when I asked him on the phone (the one time I've got through) he said his mother didn't let him go. He had been looking forward to it so that was odd. I had hoped that my family and hers would all be sitting together but the reception was frosty. Since then she has made the demands on changing contact
(This has all happened in the last week following a 'mis-understanding' of what time to get the boys back last Saturday. I was subjected to a barrage of shouting and swearing from both her and her husband - She had obviously spent time working him up. Our phones were off because we were in a cinema.)
Yes it was discussed and agreed all round.
She wants to have a veto on all contact and not be legally bound to anything. At the moment there is flexibility which has been great. If they have something in the diary then it is flagged up before and the time is made up in another way. It is already one sided though as I always change my plans to suit hers. BUT I have the legal leverage!
She says she is only following the boys lead as they are 'happiest in their family home' and 'mummy's boys' .
Of course, having something legally binding was important to me as before that time I could never plan properly when I would see them. Her plans took priority over my side of the boys' family. She would also take them away for the entire 2 week Christmas period and not allow me that holiday away. I do not want my relationship with the boys to go back to that.