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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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September 2013, my wife (married 1996) was seduced by a male

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September 2013, my wife (married 1996) was seduced by a male friend of ours who is also married. He seduced her at one of our business premises (photographic studio) in London.
They then had an affair which lasted until November, during which time my wife wanted me out of the house from Friday to Monday each week. She told me the classic line, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” and that she needed space. After She assuring me that she was not seeing anyone, I reluctantly agreed tho give her some space and stayed at my brother’s house at the weekends, which I also found very difficult because we have two children.
I received a lot of advice and help from friends/family and a barrage of marital rescue books. For the first time in my life, my GP prescribed a course of antidepressant pills (Sertraline) which I am still taking today as a consequence of all this.
I should also mention, that my wife and I had been in an extremely vulnerable position these last few years due to the pressures of navigating our business through this recession, which resulted in us having to sell our family home to prop up our business. To compound matters further I had been in agony for most of 2013 with 2 herniated disks which I received a hospital procedure for and lots of rehabilitation.
By the end of November after concentrating making myself stronger and preparing for the worst, I had managed to unwittingly win my wife back from the over man, who ironically also happens to work as a lawyer in a family law firm, and had been feeding her legal/divorce advice to use against me during what had eventually become a ‘trial separation’.
The month that followed, my wife and I were reunited stronger than ever and until the 23rd of December I was blissfully unaware of the affair until his wife blew the whistle at 3.00 am by text message. I then took my wife’s phone and ran a data recovery program on it to extract all deleted messages etc which confirmed everything. I revealed a print-out of the entire transcript while she was attempting to lie over the phone to the wife of the adulterous husband at 9.00 am.
Obviously, this totally devoted our Christmas. My 15 year old son who had been poisoned against me, now also learnt the hideous truth. Thankfully my 9 year old daughter is still unaware.
To add further insult to injury, the wife of the adulterer whom I had shown nothing but kindness to, especially as our daughters go to the same school, started to make bullish blackmailing threats to me if I didn’t move out of town and relocate my daughter in a new school. I refused to do this especially as my son was doing his final GCSE year. She also poised me against all of our mutual friends even though I was the innocent party in all of this. Apparently she had suspected her husband was having an affair for some time and prior to which she new her husband fancied her for years. I have also since leant that he has a reputation for philandering.
I have chosen to remain magnanimous for the sake of preserving our relationship, especially as I have made allowances for the fact that my wife has never done this before and that she had been stalked and seduced by this man during a time when he knew full well how vulnerable we both were.
I told my wife that rather than forgiving her, that I was prepared to share and accept whatever role I had in bring us to this unfortunate situation provided she did the same. Since then, things have been much better and we have now moved house and schools etc.
However, I do feel a sense of desperate helplessness with regard to any justice over the other man and his actions which have left me feeling emotionally damaged for which i am now reluctantly seeking some professional psychological help for. I feel that I can’t even give him a well deserved punch given his profession. I feel like I’m in a virtual straight jacket and would like to know if any of my situation is protected by UK marital or trespassing law?
Sorry for the rambling tarn above; I hope it all makes sense!
Please advise
Kind regards
Jonathan Burns
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you
I am so very very sorry but there is no action that you can take against this man at all.
Since she was not even a client of this person I am afraid that there is no complaint can be made to his professional body either
I am sorry - but I wish the happiest of futures to both of you
Clare
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