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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Hi ThereId like to apply for full custody of my 4 year

Customer Question

Hi There
Id like to apply for full custody of my 4 year old son who is being abused physically and
verbally by my wife. He has been slapped on the face very hard and she locks him up in the store-room/pantry for 10-15 mins if he makes a mess i.e throws paper on the floor etc. As a father i have been crying my eyes out because if i say anything she says you will never have access to see your son again. This has been going on for the last year or so.I have now got evidence on my phone that she has done this. will i get full custody
to save his future.
im a broken hearted father please all advice will be appreciated
thanks so much
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact do you have with the child?
What do you actually have on your phone?
have the school raised any issues?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Claire

Thanks you so much for your reply.

I am always with him at my partners (wifes) house with him, because i dont trust her around him.

I have recording of her slapping him accross the face very hard his milk bottle fell out of his hand he started crying, i also have recording of my son saying she always shouts at me, and also my son telling me she locks him up in the pantry. I have around 15 recordings

She abuses me also and swears at me also infront of our son.

But i am in a situation where at the moment i cant do anything

because i am around her cousins all the time and if i do anything i am in danger

i am just waiting for my sons Christmas holidays to finish so i can have a word with his teacher.

thank you so so much claire

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Just for clarity - you and your wife still Iive together.?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi

yes for the time being we are living together, but not for lon,im only living with her for the sake of my son. please tell me if i apply full custody will i get it based on the evidence i have, because if i dont get it she will not let me see the kid again, i have to be involved in his life on a day to day basis.

He also has a heart condition called a (vsd)

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
is your child under the care of the hospital for his condition?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

Yes. He is being seen/monitored by the cardiologist

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Has the hospital raised any concerns about her care of the child?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

They have not raised any concerns because she tries to be a good mother to him in front of them. I have not raised any concerns also at the moment to the hospital

just recently she is being very nice to him.

I cannot do anything at the moment because i just dont know if she is

a good mother or bad mother to him

please its very hard for me to make any decisions at the moment.

if i apply for full custody what are my chances

i will appreciate your advice

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Do either of you work?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

Iv recently been cleared of a allegations made against me of domestic violence. My wife made these allegations to the police in July 2014, She told the police that i made threats towords her, the police in Yorkshire then released me on police bail without charge, my conditions were not to get in touch with her for 3.5 months. she moved to Birmingham after 2 months in refuge

after 3.5 months apart our parents/uncles/aunts got us to make peace with each other, i then had to leave my job of 10 years, my parents, brothers/sisters/friends etc in Yorkshire and move to birmingham with my son and wife but she has continued to be how she was for the last year or so

As soon as she got the British passport/cotizenship she has made these allegations to make me look bad infront of the authorities and also family and friends.

My life has been destroyed but i will make as much sacrifices as possible for my only son.

Thanks for your advice clare

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Do you have a new job now?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

No im not working at the mo,

i cant trust her around him alone for to long.

i have savings of £2,500 left

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I do not have good news for you
The fact is that your wife has been the principal carer of the child for his entire life and neither the hospital the school or the refuge workers have identified any concerns about his care
Making recordings on your phone will not help you - instead it will look as though you are trying to manufacture evidence against your wife which will go badly for you.
There is no longer any concept of Custody in England and Wales.
Both you and your ex have Parental Responsibility for the child and the right to be involved i all major decisions in his life.
In addition you and your wife are expected to agree how the child will spend his time between you when you separate - with the court only becoming involved if you are not able to agree.
If you believe that the child is at risk in her care then you must report this to Social Services and allow them to investigate although the problems I have outlined above will remain
I am sorry I know that this is not what you wish to hear - but I have to be honest with you about the position
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

when we lived in Yorkshire my mum (his grandma) was caring for our son most of the time, when he had doctor appointments she used to go so she doesn't look bad as a mother, iv also been going along with her most of the time

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
That does not alter the situation greatly I am afraid
Unless Social Services find evidence of abuse then a shared care order is the most likely outcome
Clare
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

if i tell social services my wife slapped my son. will i my son be given to me, because i dont have a place of my own at the moment

your advice will be very helpful

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
They will investigate and decide whether or not they believe the child is at risk
If They do believe that then they will expect you to make arrangements for his care and if you cannot do so then the child may be taken into care
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

finally

If social services find evidence and i get my son will we still need to go to court for child custody, and will she ever get him back from me

thanks for all your support take care, happy new year

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
IF and it is a big IF Social Services decide that the child is at risk in the care of the mother then you will have no need to apply for a Child Arrangement Order other than to deal with what contact the mother should have.
However please understand that it is not likely - it is more likely that you and your ex will have to agree a Child Arrangement Order setting out the time the child spends with each of you
Clare

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