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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33813
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I broke up with ex husband due to domestic violence and him

Customer Question

I broke up with ex husband due to domestic violence and him having a firearm and ammunition in possession. He got 7 years but only did two years of a prison sentence. Hes now ben out of prison almost 3 years. Last July my little girl was taken ill and has been hospitalised for 3 months in total. I initially contacted the father who came to visit he daughter for the first time in 5 years. I have a residential order a prohibited steps order.I also have non molestation order but this was removed December 2014. We are now only allowed to make contact via email. He is now emailing wishing to meet up. I have two daughters and they dont want to see him. where do i stand with this, how do i respond to him?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

The children are 11, 12 in feb and 7 years old.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
May I ask what you actually WANT to do?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

I feel he is not being honest and genuine and is likely to look at kidnaping the girls and take them to Albania one day. As thats where he is from.

I really dont want nothing more to do. I just thought as he was the father to let him know that our daughter was not well before being diagnosed of her condtion as i was worried etc.. and thought i did the right thing

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You did indeed do the right thing.
What contact has he actually asked for?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

When we went to court last December. A variation was made to the non molestation order which originally was an indefinite order. This will be fully removed in June 2015.

He wanted access to medical records for my little girl so i agreed to send this information by email, which i did the same day of the court case. We are allowed to communicate via email only and to be civil to one another about arrangements to see the girls. There is no contact order at this point.

He doesnt know where we live etc....

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
May I assume that you have no wish to meet him?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

yes thats how i feel.. as i dont trust him and simply because the girls are not ready and willing to meet with him

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Why were you in court in December - who made the application and for what?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes i was in court too! He made the application to have the Non molestation removed. At the court he also showed contact we made since hes release in prison and my solicitor said to avoid a trail its best to sort this out that day.

Only a variation was made that hes was able to enter to towns and upon the parties agreeing to remain civil towards each other and to arrange any contact between the applicant and the children namely..... by way of email only. But he is asking to meet?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You are entitled to refuse that - and there are good reasons for your doing so
If you think that your youngest would like further contact with her father then you can offer to discuss this using Family mediation and the option of Shuttle medication meaning that you have no need to meet
Contact could take place at a local Contact Centre IF it was considered in the best interests of your daughter
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

ok Thank you for this information. In the meantime can you tell me the best way to respond with regards ***** ***** email asking to meet. I need to be choosy and careful with the wording as he is waiting to use anything against me.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I would simply say that you do not wish to meet. If there is anything to discuss which cannot be dealt with via email then you suggest that an appointment is made to see a mediator
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33813
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

I sent him an email with the same as you have suggested.

He then replied with this.


Hi

It's ok if you don't want to come, I can take the girls out for something to eat or shopping, whatever the girls want.

I replied


Hi

Sorry for late reply, at the present time the girls have made it clear that they do not wish to see you , if this changes I will contact you.

He replied with


Hi

Let's try something else than, how about I'll talk to the girls on skype, even if it's just for a few minutes?

i replied with


Hi

You know full well that the only means of communication is via email.

he replied with


Hi

Yes to try and arrange a meeting with the children, so if they're happy for us to meet and talk face to face on our own with the girls , can't see a problem talking on skype with the girls.

You can talk to your solicitors and I'll talk to mine and we can arrange it if you like.

i replied with

Hi
Its very nice of your to be nice and polite which is unlike you. However, you have the restriction removed like you requested from me. The girls have made it clear that they do not wish to see you at present. As soon as this changes i will contact you immediately. Until then i do not wish you to contact me.

Ive not heard from him since last friday. He may likely go back to hes solicitor.

Where would i stand now? Any suggestions of a next step?

regards





Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
At this point you do nothing.
If you hear from him again then you say that you will discuss it with him using Family mediation and a mediator trained to work with children so that the children's wishes can be heard
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you!! Its a possibility he may go back to hes solicitor

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Then if he does this is the approach that you take
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

The child supporting agency has called me to say that my ex called them and is asking them whether i have changed the childrens surname.

However, I have changed their name but not legally. This was advised by the local police back in 2009 for security reason. It appears he may be fishing for information to either track us down or take this further to court.

Can i get into trouble for this. The passports are still in their born name? Just school and doctors and CSA is changed?

regards

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Whilst you should have obtained a Court Order before you did this, the circumstances and the fact that the Police advised this and you have left the passports as they were means that no you would not be in trouble for doing so
Clare

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