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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
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Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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My partner dumped me 5 weeks ago following a live in relationship

Resolved Question:

My partner dumped me 5 weeks ago following a live in relationship of just 4 months with no explanation whatsoever. I wish to send her a final "closure" note explaining how despicable I believe her behaviour was. The note includes no threats of violence or intimidation. Could such a note be nonetheless classed as harassment?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
.
Thank you question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
It depends.
Is she reasonable or a professional victim?
Has she asked you to stop contacting her?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Overall reasonable.

No.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Harassment does require two acts of contact that is vexatious and has no response. Generally speaking if you are not being ignored and she hasn't ask you to stop contacting her then that would not amount to harassment.
Also, if you have this contact with women who are reasonable and don't keep the police on speed dial and have a long history of making allegations of abuse when they can't have what they want or they are asked to take some responsibility you should be fine.
We have all had uncomfortable break ups. We don't all go charging down the police station to make allegations of harassment. Unless she has a history of doing so, you should be fine.
If she does, I wouldn't suggest doing this.
If you are intent then this would not amount to harassment.
Can I clarify anything ?
Jo
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you. Whilst she has not specifically asked me not to contact her, there has been no contact since the somewhat acrimonious separation. Her last words to me were: "Rant over. Done. I'm finished." Could that be construed as "do not contact me again"?

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Well, not on a normal English interpretation.
The truth about this is that you are exposing yourself to a report if you contact her. Normal sensible women would not bother on one occasion. Obviously if you keep making contact unremittingly then that is different but one instance of a severance letter would not be reported by any woman who did not just plain enjoy the attention of being a victim. If she is not such a woman then you should be fine.
If she does make a report then you do have a defence but probably you would rather not be bothered with all the hassle of having to offer it.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you. One final one. By "report", do you mean a report to the police, who would presumably be duty bound the alleged allegation? If so, what form would that take? An officer visiting, a written response?

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
They will investigate the allegation. They may complain about having their time wasted but they are not allowed to refuse any more.
The truth is that most domestic harassments amount to two childish people using the police as a mediation service because they are too immature to do it themselves. We all have rows. We don't all get the police involved in them.
All the police will do is give you a harassment warning to stop you making contact with her again.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 69786
Experience: Over 5 years in practice
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