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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33807
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I will try to keep this short..14 years ago my ex and I

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I will try to keep this short.. 14 years ago my ex and I bought a property. Two years ago I moved out due to long term mental health problems which I was addressing but my partner(we were not married) continued to have affairs. I found it intolerable but understandable. I bought another property which is in my name only and I live here with our two children. I believed that it was a "separation" in order for me to get well, I still loved my partner.I hoped to get well in order that we could be together again and the property I am now in would be run as my bussiness (holiday let, as it was a running concern. I also hoped that we would sell our joint property (it was dark and damp and isolated) and buy another together. I believed that I had paid for much of the house I now live in as the money came from my bank account and building society. I believed that the money my ex was sending me each month was for maintenance and it ceased after a few months. I recieved a letter from his solicitor saying that I had been paid for my share of the house and that I should sign over the joint property to my ex. I discovered from his solicitor that as I had not paid the money into my account (my ex ran my monetary affairs. I worked on the property, 20 acre small holding, and looked after the children) Although I had complete access to my account, I could have taken money at any time I was shocked to discover that it was not mine.My ex ran my affairs for 17 years. I dropped my solicitor last year after deciding that he was on the wrong line, It was not about the money initially but the moral issue of the children and I being carefully shunted to elsewhere whilst his girlfriend moved in. I did not know about her. I will need to do something about this as I need the money from the property, I do not see that I have been bought out. I am 57 and finding it difficult to find work and I do not see that I should live on benefits when I have half a house available. We are tenants in common.When I dropped my solicitor I decided to try to "do it myself" . His solicitor phoned me and I told him these details and more... I never heard back from him after repeated letters to him asking why my ex was taking me to court. I was recovering and more able to understand what was happening. We did not have an "agreement", he suggested that we did not need it and I agreed, after all we still loved each other didn't we? Now I think I understand how things came to be. What do I do now? Help! Regards ***** ***** e-mail I sent you does not work. Your system would not let me use my regular e-mail as it said it was registered to another client that's ME.***@******.***

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
How old are the children and what income does your ex have?
How much has he paid you over the tears?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The house is worth around six hundred thousand, there is no mortgage, I sold my house in London and he sold his in Scotland to buy the house outright.

Children are 15 and 17.

My ex used to be self employed as a contractor for Hinkley. He was on 60.00 per hour, 40 hours a week.I know that he is now staff and has taken a pay cut. I do not know but it might be in the region of 45.00 per hour.

He paid around 325,000.00 I think. It was based on a valuation we had done a good year before I thought to leave. He had acted appallingly before the valuer by saying all that was wrong with the house. I did not accept this valuation as a guide for settlement,tho it was probably a fair price.It was only a few months that he paid , he took the cost of my new house as part of that sum.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
For clarity - he has paid you £325,000 in the last few months
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

This was from Dec.2012 to approx. April 2013.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How was the property that you are currently living in purchased?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Mostly from accounts held in my name the rest from accounts in his name.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
For clarity - is the money that came from his account counted as part of the £325,000?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes it was.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Other.
My computer seems stuck. I started my inquiry yesterday and I am not too sure about using a computer. Your system suggested I open my question to all so I did.If I close this page I am not sure I will get you back again, I know, I'm daft.
Am happy to stay with anyone this computer suggests.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Where did your income and savings come from over the years?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My ex paid into my account, I also had dividends from his company. I think you need to know that I did not work for pay for all the years we were together. My ex is a whizz at tax avoidance using my name for many different accounts ( I found out much later!) and using my tax allowance.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Just so I understand you have had no independent source of income over the years
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No, I have not. I worked on the farm and raised the children. We had livestock and grew veg. That is what I did.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Are the children still living full time with you?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello, yes the children are with me full time. There have been unpleasant incidents with his new girlfriend and they have not spent any time at their childhood home for at least 18 months. I must say that I think that I have given you a difficult one and perhaps I need to see a solicitor. I do believe that at some time I will have to take this to court but the moral and ethical stand that I feel it should follow is not the way of the courts.I feel I was duped into leaving my home and lifestyle. There is an awfull lot of "He said/She said and I have tried to keep it short and just factual. I am away for the week-end and will have to shut down my computer. I just hope I can find this page again. Thank you . Phaedra.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
For clarity
You are not married and you did not bring any capital to the relationship.
Your ex has paid you the equivalent of half of the equity in the property you owned together but is not currently paying Child Maintenance for the children
Is that all correct?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

We were not married, I did pay for half the house (in question, known as Langridge),I did not work for money since I stopped working at six months pregnant.He has given me the sum equal to the value of the house, I did not realize this until my solicitor pointed it out having done lots of sums.And he does pay some maintenance as I took help from the C.S.A.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How much capital did you bring to the relationship?
has he actually paid the Full value of the property - or half of it?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

After paying for half the house, I sold my own house to fund it, there was not any further monies from me. When we moved there I had two babies and the farm to look after. He had me as a share holder in his company and I received dividends to my named account varying from 3 to 8 thousand each month.He apparently paid half the value of the house to me which I had thought was for maintenance at the time.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Again for clarity - you paid for half the property at the time of purchase and your ex has paid you half the current value - is that correct?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes, I paid for half the property and it would appear that I have been paid for half the value based on a figure from three or more years ago .

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for that.
How does what you received compare to the current value?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I do not know what the house is worth now, not much different I guess with the recession and all. It is more about the way I was led into believing that what I was doing was for the common good of our family, namely,to get well again and keep our family together. At no time did either of us say that the relationship was over, I still loved him and was fighting hard to make myself well.I was on my own a lot with two young children and a man who led his own life, working and spending week-ends on the farm. He always chose to do what he wanted and I justified it by thinking that as he worked hard all week he deserved to do what he wanted. I was a single Mum in effect in an isolated place which had long dark winters. Depression took hold although I did not know it. I needed his help with the babies and some attention for myself but it never happened. I went into a dark place and was barely able to do anything for many years. I was not sectioned because I could just about feed and clothe the children and get them to school. His affairs were slowly killing me too. I was a demented mad woman. After taking advantage of a car failure situation which obviously, I survived,I started to realize that I was unwell and sought help. That was six years ago.As I got better his affairs would send (almost) me spiraling back and I couldn't live with it.I knew that if only I could get my head together and more importantly, have proper relations with him (I did sometimes and all would be ok with him, he would not seek other women at those times) I had told him about how things could work out for us I just had to get away to deal with myself and in the meantime I could be his "girlfriend" as they always had more of his attention than I did. When I was well we could let out this property in which I live (I had bought a place which already had a good holiday letting clientele) and it would be my "work".It was not until eight months later that I went to "our" house to see him to ask if our relationship was over.I know this sounds naive but please try to understand that I was still in a mess and lived in hope and couldn't deal with too much emotional stuff. The signs were there but but I didn't see them as such at that time. He had other plans, obviously and just wanted me to disappear but he never told me that he didn't love me anymore.It was all a horrible shock to me which could have sent me back and on occasion it did but I had a good support group, therapist and drugs from my doctor. Are these things always about just money?.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for that explanation - it cannot have been easy to recount.
Sadly since you were never married to each other the only law that applies is the same that would apply between business rather than life partners and it is indeed all about money.
Your only claims against him are for your share of the property that you purchased together and to maintenance for the children
I remain a little uncertain whether you have actually received both of those
As far as I understand it the house you live in now was purchased from monies held in accounts in your name which you understood were your funds - your share of the business
If that is the case then whilst I understand his argument that the money was still "his" it is far from certain that the court would agree which means you do have an area for negotiation
I hope that this is of assistance - do please ask for any further details you need - it is all included!
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Good morning Clare/Claire(?)

thank you for your last mail.

So, yes, he does pay child maintenance through the C.S.A. and technically, I am told that the assorted sums of money he paid over five months followed by a solicitors letter saying I must sign over the house(Langridge),which I have not done,and the purchase of the house I live in now would in total, be the sum that the he proposed was my "share". As mentioned before, my abode was mostly paid for from money in my named accounts. I have been informed that it was not my money after all as I had not paid into it. Yet I was a share holder in his company and did have dividends paid into my accounts.I am very confused about why money in my sole named accounts, which I did have access to if I so wished was not mine? I have paid tax every year on unearned income from dividends and shares. If none of it legally was mine then does this raise a question about tax avoidance on his part using my name for his gain. I know that this is another question and I do not expect an answer till I pay some more.

Do the courts not take any moral or ethical issues into account? If I were to pay some money into your account for a few months could I then demand that I now own your car? It seems that this is what has been done to me regarding our house.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter, I am very grateful.

Best Regards, Phaedra.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What happened to the monies that he paid you over the months that you refer to?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

In my bank account, it is what we are living on.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am finding this very confusing which is why i am double checking everything - so I apologise for that.
However my understanding so far is this.
1. you contributed half of the purchase price of the property you live din with your ex
2. When you moved out you used money in your bank account to purchase another property.
3. He then paid you a further lump sum by installments.
If that is right can you give me the amounts involved in 2 and 3 please
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi,

1. is correct

2 is correct, most of the money came from my accounts, the rest from his account.

3. I have not found the files containing all account details. Have called ex solicitor to see if I left them with him.

I do not understand why these figures are relevant as it seems too much detail to post on this "general" site. Or do you want to estimate my worth?. As I have said before, it seems that the money in my accounts was not mine as such, tho I abhor the thought of this.

Yours searchingly,

Phaedra.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry - i do not need to estimate your worth - it is more trying to get a grip on what actually happened and some gude to how much is involved.
I am aware what his solicitors are saying about the monies - but the simple fact is that he gave you that money by placing it in your accounts and you were entitled to assume that it was a gift - there is an arguable point but you do have a string case as well
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi again,

sorry no numbers as yet, arguable point is, I assume, that I did not pay money into accounts but what is "string case"?

spk. tomorrow.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
A string case is what happens when an older solicitor does her own typing - I meant a STRONG case
The fact is that whatever the figures are you were entitled to believe that the monies in your account which cane form him were gifted to you in return for your contribution to the life of the family and his business UNLESS he can prove that you were aware that this was NOT the case.
If those funds were yours then he has not yet paid you for half of the property - and he still needs to do so
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33807
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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