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The first thing you need to do is to try and establish that your Mother did indeed make a Will. Then, and only then, will you have the legal right to challenge your stepfather over the life insurance etc.
More often than not, a client will leave their original Will with the Solicitor who drafted it.
You therefore need to contact your Mother's Solicitor, if she had one/you know who they are. Sadly, there is no central register of Wills, so it is really a case of looking in the dark. You could also ask her Bank, who may be holding it.
You can find solicitors in your Mother's area who deal with Wills by using the following Law Society website search engine:-
Select "wills and probate" - all medium sized high street practices will have private client department that deal with issues like this as well as tradition probate/will functions.
I'm afraid the fact that your Mother had told you that she had made all the necessary arrangements concerning her Estate is no grounds for you to take action against step father at this stage.
However, if you are adamant that your Mother left a Will, and it sounds to me that you are, and you wish to pursure matters, you should instruct a Solicitor as soon as possible and he can register a "caveat" at the Probate Registry on your behalf. What this does is that it stops your step father from being granted Letters of Administration (the same as Probate, but is the word given whereby a party dies without making a Will). Without the grant of Letters of A, your step father will be prevented from dealing with the Estate until your dispute has been dealt with. I will leave it to your Solicitor to advise, but basically, once a caveat has ben issued, you would then need to provide evidence that your Mother did indeed make a Will. Otherwise, the Court will grant Letters of Administration to your step father.
I hope this assists and sets out the legal position.