Thanks for your opion.
I have stressed to my co executor right from the start that I wanted to do the job together as a team and to help and support each other throughout the entire process. He initially wrote to me saying "thank you" and "yes lets do that".
I have asked quite a few times now to visit his home for a chat about planning a way forward, setting up accounts, sharing out the jobs that are required to do all of which have not been agreed to. I have said to him that we have to do this carefully and in a proper manner with a paperwork trail that we can produce if necessary. If coming to him is not convienant then lets make other arrangements and/or visit me instead.
In one of his rare emails to me he talks of the stress and strain of it all and of a more recent death of another family relative and I have again repeated all my offers to help etc.
His daughter who has been asked to draft an IHT 400 which I think would have been a good idea to do, if she is so adept at completing such forms, but I would have liked a chance to just check his figures and paperwork and to discuss valuations etc before drafting the IHT400. I have to sign the IHT document with my co-executor and I will be unable to do that if I can't verify the figure work etc and I can't do that without access to the financial documents, valuations, etc. I would like to take away with me all documents/paperwork and to do this carefully rather than a rush job and then report back to my co-executor either yes thats fine or no there's a query or question I have which requires some more research on. Isn't this all part of due diligence ? I don't want to sign the IHT form and find out later we errored.
My co-executor is 75 years of age and I know he has had heart health issues recently including a dementia scare, and so I have renewed my offer of help, but this is a two way process. Otherwise there is no point in having me as a co executor because I am not ever going to sign a legal form without reading it and making sure its as correct and true as it should be.
The caveat may be an incorrect application, but on the basis thus seen, his actions to try and dispose the deceased property and effects the day following my Aunt's death and not waiting for the Grant of Probate, I am concerned that nothing else disappears to.