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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33310
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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, I am coming to the end of my sons medical negligence case

Customer Question

Hi, I am coming to the end of my sons medical negligence case and in these long years my husband walked away and dumped his seriously life limited son and has had no contact in 4 years and is not likely too. Leaving me on my own to deal with this case and care for my son 24/7 with very little help.
I have had a distressing day after finding out that my ex (even though he doesn't know it) will be allocated past care costs. I did most of the care whilst he was away on "business" and although it was not sited in the divorce, my divorce solicitor knew that mental abuse had taken place and was noted. He also contacted my sons medical negligence solicitor to ask, if there was enough money in the initial release from the NHSLA, for us to move out of county to keep us safe as my ex's behaviour had become threatening. He was suffering from depression which social services knew about and there was already a question over his mental status.
I asked the barrister last year if the money could just sit in my sons trust when set up and if the father never came for it, it would just go into my sons amount when he was 18 or 21 . I don't want the money, but I find it appalling that a parent who walks away from their life limited child and dumps them with no contact can still benefit from their child's award.
Is this the law or can I agree to sign a waver so that the barrister and solicitor are protected from possible future action so that my son benefits from that money NOT ME, in the future. Please advise.
Thank you
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Has there been a final financial order within the divorce proceedings?
I assume that you will also be receiving a tranche of past care costs?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare

Divorce was five years ago and he pays child maintenance through a court order not CSA as being a high flying corporate Finance guy, My divorce solicitor didn't want him messing around with the children's money. That has been up and running for 5 years now, never increases and the negligent case was not settled then NHSLA only accepted negligence last summer after 10 years.

I will receive past care yes, but it is only a 50% case not a full 100%.

Thank you

Georgina

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Was there a final order dealing with the capital issues?
Dies he pay spouse maintenance?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

No nothing like that. Just when I had to sell the adapted bungalow to pay him his half of the equity. Only a finance order for the children which is in place till they both reach their 18th birthday then he pays no more.

I get nothing, except the boys money each month. Property was sold off and split equally (not much). he has no financial responsibility to me, only his sons till they are 18.

When my eldest was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and life limiting Epilipsie, he very rarely attended hospital appointments, left me in hospital with my sons when he was rushed in and I attended all appointments on my own, physio sessions, OT ect. He turned up for the battle with the Educational Authority, but most of the time he was "working late" or on "business trips".

I was married but a single parent.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
May I ask why you agreed to sell the property in this way?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

My sons and I stayed in the bungalow for a year, but his intimidation and his behaviour was starting to frighten me and my Divorce solicitor and he contacted my sons litigation lawyer to ask if the small amount of money that had been released for initial care, would be enough for us to move to rented to be near my family but to get out of the county we were in to keep us safe.

So we sorted out a rental bungalow till my son's case has been concluded and the bungalow was sold and the equity was split 50/50, not much came out with £25k which I had to pay the loan and credit card he left me with that he ran up with his mistress.

I did the best I could with the divorce and my divorce solicitor tried to get it through as quickly as he could to keep the ex away because of his behaviour.

Nice man, not, he has mental issues and is not pleasant.

Does this help?

Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Ok
Was a final order made dismissing all future claims you could make on your ex?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

yes

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Then I am so very very sorry but there is no way around this UNLESS the solicitor is willing to accept such a disclaimer - and I will be honest if I was asked to do so I would refuse
However that does not mean that you cannot ask - and it may be that having worked with you and with the case for so long the solicitor may be willing to consider it
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

thank you for your reply, there is no justice is there? this country is pathetic with its law. We are as antiquated as ever when it comes to divorce, contact and family law. I stood by my sons, I haven't put myself first I take care of them both every day at a cost to my own health at times. No father should be allowed to walk and way and dump their kids just because its to hard work, not least when they are disabled. We are all entitled to be happy in life, but NOT at the expense of a disabled child or any child.

We should look to America where their Family Law is modern up to date. If a father or mother for that matter walks and dumps their child and has no contact, then the Judge revokes Parental Responsibility and that parent is entitled to no imput on that child except the maintenance payments. Then if the parent decides to become a parent again, they have to do Parenting classes, they undergo counselling, then and only then will the Judge decide if that parent can have the PR back.

To think, that my son has to pay his useless father out of a small 50% claim for not being around and his new family having a nice life of my sons disability, makes me want to vomit.

How is that fair? my poor little boy.

Thank you again for your time.

Georigna

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
For clarity - this payment relates to an historic claim - and not for anything since you have been separated.
If this is not the case then you need to challenge that in the claim.
Alternatively it should not be too late to simply withdraw that part of the clainm
Clare

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