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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34234
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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my husband is cheating on me and not sure what to do? I work

Customer Question

my husband is cheating on me and not sure what to do? I work as a childminder term time only approx income £1000 a year as we agreed when we married (2006) that I would be s stay a home mum. I do not know what to do whether separation or divorce as he supports me financially. He is still seeing her as he says he loves her but still loves me and doesn't know who to choose. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks ann
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What other assets are there and how much does your husband earn?
How old are the children?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Children are 7 & 3
Mortgage is £60,000 with 14 yrs left to pay amount per month is £300
His wage is about £40000
We have 2 cars and the general stuff in the house - we have separate savings plus my savings include money the kids have been given about £5,000
House was bought for £230,000 in 2006
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How much does a cheaper three bedroom property in the same general area cost to buy?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
£170,000
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I should have asked - what do YOU want to happen?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I want to keep my marriage and family, he wants to see if his new relationship will develop so doesn't want a divorce.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Is he willing to move out while he makes his decision?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He's mentioned it but I don't know if he will he doesn't want kids to know
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
If you separate you will be able to remain in the property until your youngest child is 18 - or sell the house a but a cheaper one so that there is no mortgage.
His child maintenance will be 20% of his gross income and possibly also spouse maintenance
The starting point is your you to decide what YOU want and then to act on it.
What your husband is asking of you is not fair and you need to challenge him on it - and ask that at the very least he attends couple counselling with you - or, if you decide you no longer wish to remain with him, to attend Family mediation to discuss the terms of separation
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi
If my husband moves out into rented accommodation can I change the locks on our house to stop him coming back when I'm not there
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Unfortunately he is entitled to return to the matrimonial home whenever he wishes so unless you lose your keys no you cannot change the locks
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
So how do I stop him bringing his slut into our family home whilst we are on holiday for 5 days. Can I leave my key in the door. Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You can do that - but he is entitled to break in if he so wishes
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She is now sending messages to me claiming to be my husband (I know it's not him as he has told me it's her and the way the message is written) can I take legal action against her to protect our kids? My husband has told me she is psychotic and I really need to protect myself and the kids.He still wants to separate but is looking at a house with her in her town of Nottingham. Thanks Ann
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Is she using his phone?
clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes she is
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Then there is nothing you can do as you cannot prove that it is her - I am sorry
Clare