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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33324
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have had recently split from my partner of two years. We

Customer Question

I have had recently split from my partner of two years. We have an 8 month old baby together. During our relationship he was violent, aggressive, controlling and could lose his temper very easily. He was not good with the baby, and I have looked after him basically on my own since he was born. I do not trust him alone with my child due to the nature of his temper and inability to care for him. He never hit me, but he grabbed me, shook me, put a pillow over my head, punched walls, broke and threw things, got in fights (has a criminal record for fighting) and was verbally abusive....all around the baby. He cheated because he felt he was too selfish and not ready for a family, so I have now left with the baby for our own safety and staying at my parent's house. I was just wondering what rights, if any, he has to visit my child. While I was with him I tried to make him attend anger management and various doctor appointments. He has unsuccessfully been treated for anger management in previous years. I have witnesses to the violence and messages on my phone to prove this also. I would also like to know what rights his family have, as I think his mother would be keen to take him to their family home over night etc, which I would not be happy with. Any help would be great.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Do you trust his mother to care for the baby for a few hours at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Do you mean father? I'm his mother. And no, I want to be around if he is. His temper is very vitile and he could lose his temper if the baby cried. He couldn't deal with it at all.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi Rebecca
I am sorry I should have been more specific - I was referring to your ex's mother
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Oh sorry! Yes I would trust her, but I will be living in London and she lives in Wales. I have said I'm more than happy to come to London and visit him, but I don't feel that she should be able to take him over night. And especially to Wales whereby I don't know if my ex-partner could turn up at any time.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
You are correct to be concerned.
can I assume your ex is also in London rather than Wales?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

He is from Wales, and his family is from Wales, so he goes back there regularly, but he actually lives in Oxford now as he is a student. That is where I was living with him until I left.

Rebecca

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
has your ex actually asked for contact with the child?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Yes. I have offered 2 hours every two weeks, under my supervision. I have not heard a response from that yet, but I am getting the impression he believes that is not enough, I would just like to know my rights, should he start making demands, which is likely. He will want to control the situation. But I want to know what rights he has to make demands, when he has done nothing to be a dad so far, and has only caused stress, and worry for me about his welfare (and mine, less importantly).

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
The law says that a child is entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this provided it can be managed safely.
Contact in your presence is unlikely to be effective, so you shoudl try offering contact at a local contact centre where you can be sure that she will be safe
www.naccc.org.uk
Offering Contact to his mother in London is a very reasonable compromise - it is too early to talk about overnight contact with Grandma - that is a long way in the future
You may find this website useful
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I understand that he is entitled to contact, but does the violence not reduce his rights? Does he have any rights to take the child overnight? Sorry I am just concerned at the moment and not sure what he is capable of.

Thanks

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
It is the child not the father that is entitled to contact
The violence is why contact is likely to be limited to a Contact Centre to ensure the safety of the child - and of you - there is no question of overnight contact in the forseeable future - first he needs to show he will commit to two hours once a week or fortnight at a local contact centre
Clare

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