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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33549
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My wife stays with her lesbian lover who is married with 2

Customer Question

My wife stays with her lesbian lover who is married with 2 children, can I ask her to contribute towards the household bills, ie mortgage, water rates, fuel, council tax, and also towards the credit agreement of the car she drives which is in my name.
Ps with reference to the last is this a joint debt or down to me, if so can I withdraw usuage of car?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Could you explain who lives where and whether or not you have children together please
How long were you living together?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
29 yrs
We have joint mortgage, Les than 4 yrs to finish, I initially bought house alone, then we met, and married.
Our only child went to university, then Phd and have been married 2 yrs.
Joint decision for first 5 yrs if child's life for wife not to work, then managed to get work as teaching asst at same first school, where she works 5 days, all day, for just under £900 take home. I have always paid all household bills, in my name. I have also purchased or taken out finance in my name to get cars, ie loan or in case of the car she drives a personal lease agreement, 4 yrs for current one.
Did have joint acc but she never paid anything into it, I work full time, once retitred with pension being be paid, got bored plus daughter went to uni so
extra cash good. So I have a police pension, currently a civil servant for 10
yrs with another pension being paid into.
At present my wife who told me last july she was having issues with sexuality, but in reality was seeing her lesbian lover, then she spent more time away with friends. Latest is that I sleep in spare room for past 6 mths, she comes and goes as she pleases, Last school holiday she went
on holiday with her lover and her 2 children to tell them about their relationship, 6 & 9 yrs old. Since then she stays at her lovers house, where her husband works 5 nights, 2 days off, He is fully aware of the situation, and has no intention of moving out. Both my wife and his wife work as teaching asst at same school. So to answer your Q does having her belongings in the house we own qualify as living.
Lover has husband & 2 children living in mortgaged 3 bed house, where my wife is staying, but has not moved her belongings. They want the other husband to move out so they can live together.
So far my wife has demanded a 50% of house, but I am in no rush to sell, as at the age of 56 I would have only the choice of renting now. So bills would be a lot higher. Our daughter went to uni from 6th form, then 3 yrs degree, straight into paid phd, during which she got married.
Is this enough information?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for that.
I am afraid that if your wife is no longer physically living - as in spending her time - in the property then she i snot expected to pay the bills on it.
The exception is the car loan and you shoudl write a simple and straightforward note saying that if she wishes to keep the car then she must take responsibility for the loan - either paying it directly or giving you the money each month.
Tell her that if she does not agree to this then the car will have to be sold and the debt paid off that way.
I am afraid that so far as the house is concerned she will be entitled to half of the equity - and she also has a claim on your pensions.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
When you say she is not spending time at property, and therefore not expected to pay bills, does that mean
A) She must remove all her belongings, I could change locks
B) I can inform council tax that I am living alone
C) if I do ask for car back I cannot sell it as it is on a personal lease agreement in my name, however my car is not, so I would sell that.
However that would also mean she would have no transport to her place of work, except her push bike, would that be seen as "aggressive" by a judge at divorce hearing.
As for mortgage that is a joint debt surely she must contribute to this?
At what stage can she make a claim on pensions, because if I choose to retire now, or go part time, and live on my police pension, and not receive my other until I Am 67. Would the settlement take into account that she has never contributed whilst in full time employment to any of the
mortgage, or household bills.
So far she returns for an hour about once a week to collect some clothes, her mail, but has not slept in the house since 27/3/2015
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HI
I am so sorry but no you cannot change the locks, and she can leave her belongings there.
She has Matrimonial Home Rights on the property and can return whenever she wishes.
You can certainly inform the council that she is living elsewhere
If the car cannot be sold or given back then it is not a good idea to recover it unless she has actually refused to make the payments.
If there is no loan on your other car you could swap them if you wished
The claim on the pension will come within any divorce proceedings - and I am afraid that the fact that she made no financial contribution is not going to be seen as being of any great relevance - although it MAY help
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33549
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
Clare and 3 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Both cars are registered and paid for by me in my name, so I could sell the one I use, and then use the one she currently uses and I pay for. I would not give her my car as it is far more valuable, even though the car she drives is a new Peugeot 108.I have asked her by document, emailed and personally delivered about what she is prepared to contribute towards the itemised joint and other household bills, including the car finance.I would hope she would contribute towards the car and mortgage at least.I have spoken to the mortgage company , Lloyds with regards ***** ***** marital breakdown.So she can come and go whenever she pleases, use the services without payment, and more worrying remove articles which may or may not be personal. Go through my personal documents etc.So I am going through hell, paying for it because it I believed naively it was my duty as a married man to provide for my wife, whilst she can have her cake and eat it. This will go on for some time as the other husband is not going to move, and neither of the "couple" can afford to pay for rent, only to remain in the other house with the other husband contributing as there are kids. What a mess, thank you for your adviceI am hoping for £193 car finance and £250 towards mortgage, as the payment reduces from 821 after May's payment to 525. Do I have any chance of either, legally what does she have to pay
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
It would be more sensible to stick to the Car Finance only - it is the one that you have every right to expect her to pay and if she refuses it is reasonable to say that you want the car back,
Might I suggest that you start the divorce sooner rather than later so that the financial issues can be resolved
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Today we had a meeting, calmly at marital home, she agreed to pay car finance to me, but has obviously taken legal advice. I told her I was considering leaving the marital home for rented accommodation.
She intimated that she may return, so I asked if she would contribute towards household bills, if she was going to stay. She will ask her solicitor, went through all finance, discussed mediation. I did express that I was looking at leaving, and taking all my accounts I pay for with me, paying my half of mortgage, and that Aug is the month for insurance renewals in my name, and I may still wish to have the car returned as I didn't consider it morally fair for me to pay all bills, and I need to cut costs to live.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
I am glad that you were able to discuss things calmly.
If she pays the the car finance then she shoudl retain the car
Clare

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