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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33500
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My son & his girlfriend had my grandson in 2006. Right from

Resolved Question:

My son & his girlfriend had my grandson in 2006. Right from the outset the baby's mother didnt really want him, so I as paternal grandmother looked after the baby. My son did used to have him back possibly 3 out of 4 weekends especially after they split up and mother took off not caring about her child. From that day onwards my husband & I brought our grandson up. That was until 18 months ago when my son met someone else. By this time our grandson was 7.5 years old, and without any warning they just came round and took him away. I did suggest kinder ways of getting him used to a new lifestyle but I am afraid they were both to selfish to consider this. His school work has suffered, and my grandson is suffering. He is allowed to see us twice a week. We have him on a Wed evening and a Sat evening. It has now got to a point where he pleads with us not to take him back. He does love his dad, but he is having difficulties with my sons new partner and her children. They have been reported to social services once, and the other weeks someone reported them to the NSPCC. My grandson tells me what is going on but my son never does. IF I took them to court, what are our chances of getting our grandson? Remembering we have both recently retired and no spring chickens ie: 62 & 67 years old, but both fit and well. Our grandson is only 9 years old, would he have a say in matters? It breaks my heart to do this and the relationship with our son will break down, but my grandson needs me more
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Why were Social Services and NSPCC called in?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Apparently the social services were contacted as someone accused them of mistreating my grandson. I think more neglect than mis treatment as in he went to school dirty and wouldn't eat his lunches because she did put in wonderful foods, but like most children, foods he didn't like and wouldn't eat, plus he has become a little aggressive. The NSPCC were called in over Easter time as my son and his partner literally had a fight. The children were terrified and ran down the road trying to escape. They were brought back and sent to bed. The only thing I can say in my sons partners defence is that she is grieving for her mother who recently passed and I think that was the reason she got drunk. Not that it excuses physical violence.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Do you have the child overnight at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Yes, we have him every Wednesday evening and every Saturday, if possible we try to get him as much as we can inbetween. The only problem with this is he never wants to go home. He pleads with me to let him stay. He asks when he can come "home" meaning our house. Its heart breaking. Oh and by the way neither the social services nor the NSPCC have taken things any further

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Do you have longer time with the child in the holidays?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Every May half term we take our grandson & my three granddaughters who are my youngest son's children away. Sometimes during the six week summer holidays we are allowed to take him away for 4 or 5 days, but otherwise no

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Has your grandson told anyone else how he feels?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Not that I know of. He is a lovely caring boy, who tries to please every one all the time. He will say what he thinks people want to hear. The only time the real truth comes out is at bedtime when we have a cuddle and talk about what has happened during the day, that I find out how he really feels and what is going on. I know he is not physically abused but he is certainly mentally abused. Poor little lamb just struggles on. His behaviour in school has deteriorated because his teacher has pulled me aside on several occasions (I do voluntary work round the school) and we both agree this is attention seeking. But I have never involved the school in what is going on, but they are putting two and two together by themselves

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Are the school likely to organise counselling at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

For what exactly?

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
For the child given the concerns that they are starting to have?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

No one has said anything to me and I do not want to ask because they are going to start asking questions and I will be caught between a rock and a hard place. The school would not lie about where they got their info from and I could be stopped from seeing Frankie all together

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
I can understand your feelings on the matter, but unless your grandson is able to express his real feelings to someone other than yourself then unless Social Services to have to intervene nothing can change.
Making an application at this point is not likely to be successful as your grandson is a little young for his wishes to be decisive UNLESS he is able to clearly articulate his feelings on the issue.
Once he is 12 then his wishes are decisive and if he decides to vote with his feet and stay with you the court is not likely to oppose it.
If you think there is an chance of your son being reasonable then one option is to arrange to discuss matters with him using Family Mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
and a mediator trained to work with young people so that the child's views can be heard
Obviously if matters deteriorate further then you may need to review matters further
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33500
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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