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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33009
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Wife caused all kinds of problems - what to do? She had

Customer Question

Wife caused all kinds of problems - what to do? She had an affair during marriage for 3 years. She has made up lies that I was violent, and got me thrown out of my own house using an occupation order without me being present in court. This is so her lover can move into my house. He refuses to pay me rent. It is my house in my sole name and she has never worked. What shall i do? Update: NB: I have a daughter who lives with wife, who has autism - she was serious and now very well. she has constant medical and educational input which i manage. Her tutors are employed by me and teach at wife's adddress. I am with my daughter every week all weekend and twice in the week. Wife has threatened to block daughters medical treatment and education if i try to get my house back or move her lover out - this will destroy my gorgeous daughter which i cant do

Update 3: As well as divorce do i:

Small claims on lover for rent
Charge her for perjury in court
Raise small claim against both of them for theft and CCJ
Charge for repairs to house
Charge re her blackmailing me and damaging my daughters health and education
Remove occupation order and accusation of domestic violence

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is your daughter?
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What income do you each have?
How far has the divorce reached?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hello Clare

My daughter is 10

My wife does not have any income and does not work and never has worked so is on benefits

Divorce is lodged (petition raised and paid and in the court) but she has not replied to it - it was given a court number 6 months ago

The other questions are confidential

thanks, Peter

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Without the other information I cannot give you a meaningful answer.
However to answer the questions that you have asked based on the information to date
Your wife has an absolute right to live in the matrimonial home - and to have a guest there with her so you cannot pay rent.
You can however make an applictaion within the divorce proceedings for the financial matters to be dealt with including the issue of the house
Bringing a private prosecution for perjury is prohibitively expensive
There is no small claim you can bring against either of them based on what you have said to date
You have no right to charge for repairs to the house - although the cost will form part of the matrimonial settlement
There are no charges you can bring regarding the "blackmail"
You can apply to have the Occupation Order dismissed - but it is likely that she will still be able to remain in the property with the child so it is more cost effective to deal with the house via the financial route
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare - thanks that's useful information to me. I kind of feel you are probably giving very good advice, but it does feel unjust too so I want to double check a few points:

The lover is not a guest he is a permanent resident in my house which is in my sole name. I spent years paying for this house living in poverty myself to save up deposit, and now he is using it and all my possessions. Why should he live there as permanent address, rent free - that cant be right?

He has also taken out a payday loan and a phone, by stealing my identity, which I want to get him charged for, as he has access to all my personal information (ie everything I possess is in the house)

He also has previous CCJs and 2 criminal charges for DV against his ex wife. The house is also a pigsty and so is the garden now. Also my daughter has autism and verbal dyspraxia and I have recovered her and continue to do us which has to be done privately, as no nhs treatment exists. For these reasons I think I want custody

About perjury, are you saying it is fine to lie in court then? I dont see it will be expensive if I raise and action it without a solicitor?

A lot of my possessions have been damaged or stolen are you saying that is legally fine?

Are you saying blackmail is fine eg her saying" dont ask for your possessions/ dont tell social services my house is a pigsty or i dont feed my child properly, otherwise I will stop you seeing your daughter?

Occupation order Im just worried about it being on my record forever even when it expires in 3 months, which may affect e in the future.

Thanks, Peter

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I understand what you mean about her partner but there is no basis on which you can charge him rent.
The Identify theft is a matter for the police
If you wish to obtain a Child Arrangement Order stating that the child lives with you then the first step is to attend a Mediation Information and assessment Meeting with a local Family mediator, then if necessary apply to the court
It is accepted that in the Family Court different versions of events will be given - the place to challenge them is in the Family Court - when you dispute the granting of the Occupation Order if you chose to do so
The damaged possessions fall to be dealt with within the financial side of the divorce proceedings
ye sit is blackmail - no it isnot the criminal offence of blackmail
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33009
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hello. The main problem now is my wife says if I try to divorce her she will stop me seeing my child, treating her health, or providing the home education tutors

The lover has gone for good, and I do not know if I can mvoe back into my house or not. The Occupation order was for a year and now expired, but was based on lies which she could just repeat

How do i get out of this mess?

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