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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34236
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have a nine year old daughter who no longer wishes to stay

Customer Question

I have a nine year old daughter who no longer wishes to stay at her fathers overnight. She gets very upset, sometimes up to a week before her arranged visit. I've spoken to him and asked him to have a few day visits with her in the hope that she will gradually come back around to the idea of the sleepovers. His response was anger and that i had no right to suggest this. Is this correct?
Kind Regards
Lisa
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
has your daughter told you why she feels this way?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
My daughter has told me that she enjoys her time with her father but doesn't like going to his home to sleep because it's an hour and 20mins drive away which makes her nervous being so far away from her familiar surroundings. He can't always have her on a regular basis due to his work commitments, we aim for every second weekend but it changes. At the moment he hasn't seen her for a four week period and expects to pick up where they left off. I try to work with him but am starting to feel that he isn't considering how this is making his daughter feel.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Would once a month be more realistic
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
All I want to know is, am I within my rights to ask him to have day visits with her until she's ready to go back to sleepovers? He can see her as often as he wants as long as it's just a day at a time. It's the sleeping over bit that upsets her.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You can certainly ask - he can refuse - this is an issue that you BOTH have to agree, and if agreement cannot be reached then a Judge will have to decide.
Whilst the "its too far away" explanation is a little strange, the fact that he has not been able to keep up a regular pattern is certainly likely to have caused the child to be unsettled hence my query about once a month.
The way forward is to try and discuss the matter with your ex using Family mediation and a mediator trained to work with young people so that your daughter has a safe person to explain her feelings to
www.familymediationehlpline.co.uk
If your ex will not agree then the only option is to stop the overnight contact in the hope that that will make him negotiate
Please ask if you need further details
Clare