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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33290
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My son has two sons born 2002 and 2003. He was not married

Customer Question

My son has two sons born 2002 and 2003. He was not married to their mother, but they did live together and his name is ***** ***** birth certificates. He has paid his contribution via the CSA all of their lives. Initially he was denied any contact with his boys, then after some perserverance and aggravation was able to see them , but the ex partner kept cancelling arrangements with flimsy reasons, then told him they didn't want to see him, which they still believe to be true. There was a bitter scene every time he went to the house, so in the end he stopped going, because it upset them so much. He would dearly love contact, but she is manipulating the situation in her favour. I have had limited contact over the years, but every time I see them, she makes poisonous comments behind my back and on Facebook, that I am scaring them into seeing their dad. Her mother agrees that my son and I should be able to have contact and I have a very good relationship with the boys but promised her I would not go behind her back to get the children to meet him when they are with me, so we are at a loss as to if and how he can have proper contact with his children. Is there any action that we can take?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 1 year ago.
Hello,
I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.
I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.
Thank you!
Nicola
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Happy to wait for the response
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 1 year ago.
Hello,
We will continue to look for a Professional to assist you.
Thank you for your patience,
Nicola
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
When did your son last the children - and when did you last see them?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I saw them on Saturday 13th June. My son has not seen them for about 5 years. I have broached the subject many times with his Ex for them to see him. His ex says they don't want to, but she has been turning them against him over many years. She only lets me see them on condition I don't take them to see my son.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Do the boys ever speak about their father to you?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes, but I have not asked them if they want to see him. The eldest once told me he didn't want to, but under duress from his mother who told me he had something to tell me, and he found it hard. He is having counselling and is upset by all of this and has become withdrawn. She has told them he abandoned them, which was not true, their relationship broke down but he trued to maintain contact with them. She became angry and violent . She has another child from a subsequent relationship but he left her recently. She tried to get our boys to call him Daddy but they don't. My son stayed away from them once her new man started making threats as it was upsetting the boys. He could not afford to go to court, because he pays 500 pounds a month through CSA .
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Is your son willing to take court action if necessary?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes we have come to the conclusion that it is the only way forward but wanted to know if he had rights after all this time, given that they are older now. She has just cut me off too because I gave my son Conor's phone no. So he could text him happy birthday on the 16th June, if we don't do something they will miss out on so much. I have helped and supported his ex both financially and emotionally ever since they split up, it is like I have to pay her to see them, but I don't like to see them going without, so yes we would go to court.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
The law says that children are entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary
The real problem now is the age of the children as they are over 12 and it is likely that the court will abide by their wishes on the matter.
However the starting point is for your son to arrange to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment meeting - choosing a mediator trained to work with young people
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
If his ex refuses mediation then he can apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order
If she continue sto refuse you contact then you should also attend a meeting with a view to applying for contact - although the court will need to grant permission for you to do so first
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare

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