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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 70193
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I want some legal advice on how I prevent my ex wife harassing

Resolved Question:

I want some legal advice on how I prevent my ex wife harassing me. I reported many instances to the Police over a 3 year period of incidents which had happened for the previous 20 years which resulted in her being issued with a caution in June 2014. In January 2015 she asked the local MP to intervene at my workplace and request all my personal information from my line manager. He refused on the grounds that that was a breach of my human rights. She has also written a letter to the CSA which was then forwarded to me in Jan/Feb questioning my mental health and releasing personal financial information into the public domain. She appears to have gained access to my medical records and the documents included several monthly salary slips one of which I have no idea how she obtained.
I am applying for other jobs as I was made redundant and I believe she continues to interfere with my attempts to get work and if I get a job she will contact and harass the new employers.
What can I do to prevent this and avoid future distress
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Hi.
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
Are you hoping to stop her making allegations?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes. My ex wife has been contacting my work, my friends and my relatives for some 25 years to undermine me in whatever way she can. I did manage to retain some of the correspondence and provided this to police. I also complained about the phone calls to myself, my line manager and senior figures in the organisations in which I worked.

Unfortunately I was incarcerated for wasting police time during this time.

The issue came to a head when police issued a PIN against her on 14th June 2014 warning her about the harassment. In January this year she then used ***** *****dington MP to contact my employer Unilever to disclose the fact that I was incarcerated and to seek answers to the following:-

What is my monthly salary? Was I still employed or on sick pay? When did 'Aidan Lavery' last receive salary from Unilever? If dismissed has he received additional benefits disclosing my employment dates at Unilever Sept 2003 to Jan 2015. What are his terms and conditions?Has he been awarded a redundancy payment? Is A Lavery resuming employment with Unilever?

First question for me:- Is this harassment in the workplace? My ex wife, Eileen Lavery, is named as the person seeking the information and ***** *****ddington MP has simply relayed the questions to my employer. The actual email is protected by parliament confidentiality but my line manager disclosed the questions and contents to me as he was very concerned for my welfare and had a duty of care to protect me. He was concerned about the level of detail being requested by my ex wife and the sharing of extremely sensitive and personal information about me.

I want her to be prevented from all contact with any employer I am seeking employment with and more importantly to stop interfering at my workplace in future.

Separately at the end of January I received a letter from my ex wife via the CSA disclosing a huge amount of my personal financial information going back to 2008 &2009 which has been allowed to enter the public domain.(bank statements, credit card statements savings, shares, salary details, salary information which had been disclosed confidentially in court proceedings etc). Both the CSA and Eileen Lavery are culpable here. In addition, the letter contains allegations about my mental health. This put my safety in danger while incarcerated and this cannot be allowed to continue. This letter contains salary slips one of which I believe I provided for the final financial hearing for the divorce in May 2012. The other salary slip was not provided to her and she has acquired this through other means and so she needs to explain how she obtained this.

I have previously reported assaults, threats, theft, harassment to the police and my solicitors and indeed to the family court and very little action was taken. In sept 2011 my ex wife was told by the Judge at Oxford CC to return all personal possessions belonging to me including financial information. Clearly this has not happened.

These two incidents have not been reported.

Is an MP entitled to gain access to my personal information when requested to do so by my ex wife?

What can I do to prevent all this happening in future. As stated there are details of the 20-25 years of harassment and intimidation in the workplace with Merseyside Police, Thames Valley Police and 3 different solicitor firms. Despite this my wife has been able to continue her campaign of harassment.

I want the harassment to stop? I want her prevented from doing this in future. I want my personal financial information returned or at least protected so that any public disclosure is done for legal purposes only so via a solicitor.

What do you advise?

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Can we try to summarise this? In short, you have both made allegations against each other?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Yes

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
I'm really sorry but I am struggling to see a cause of action here.
There are cases that confirm that making unsubstantiated allegations can amount to harassment but that doesn't apply here because you are making allegations as well. This is just retaliatory allegations which are childish of course but people in relationships do tend to become childish sometimes. If you are making allegations against her then a court is not going to say that she is harassing you by doing the same thing.
Certainly some of the points you mention above are things she is perfectly entitled to do like complain to CSA.
She is perfectly free to write to an MP and make a request even if it is one with no merit.
Since the police did act against you for wasting police time there is no realistic prospect of acting against her. She is wasting police time as well but that is going to happen I'm afraid if you are going to make allegations against her.
I'm really sorry but this is a dead end I'm afraid. This is just plain not harassment.
Had you posted earlier I would have told you not to make reports about her. The inevitable consequence of doing so was that she would start doing it to you. Since it is too late now and we can't go back in time the only way forward really is to stop making reports, have nothing to do with her and if you have to have something to do with her make sure you record every interaction on a Go Pro device so you can prove what was said.
Can I clarify anything for you?
Jo
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for your advice.

How do I prevent this happening in future?

What action can I take to ensure my personal information remains confidential?

Disclosure of medical records is extremely distressful and I would prefer she stopped doing this how can I prevent this?

25 years of experience would suggest she is likely to continue to harass my future employer(s) what can I do to prevent this?

The two incidents I described, from earlier this year, were very distressing and it is very concerning that she has obtained personal information without my authority.

How can I stop this from happening and be allowed to get on with my life?

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Im really sorry but there is no way of preventing her from making further allegations.
Had you posted earlier I would have told you not to make reports about her. The inevitable consequence of doing so was that she would start doing it to you. Since it is too late now and we can't go back in time the only way forward really is to stop making reports, have nothing to do with her and if you have to have something to do with her make sure you record every interaction on a Go Pro device so you can prove what was said.
All you can really do now is manage the risk.
I suppose if she carries on after you stop then that might be considered harassment but it is not likely I'm afraid.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you. I cannot see a resolution here

To summarise: Do nothing

Reasonable advice however not a solution.

Cause of action

She has persecuted me at work for 25 years. I have not made further allegations.

She continues to persecute me despite warnings from the family court and the police (PIN?) caution.

1. E mail to my employer. This was a continuation of a long campaign to distress me and cause me problems in the workplace. The outcome is I lost my job. Conclusion She caused me to lose my job by the constant disruption in my workplace. A reasonable person would not take such actions and any reasonable person would understand that persistent undermining of myself in my place of work caused me extreme distress and resulted in me losing my job making me unemployed and indeed no prospect of future employment as she continues to interfere with all attempts to get work.

2. Letter to me in jail.

She deliberately wanted to cause problems for me in jail. She revealed my financial information and my medical records into the jail environment.

The result I was placed in danger and my life was under threat. Outcome I was attacked in the jail and prisoners attempted to strangle me.

Conclusion my ex wife deliberately revealed personal information about me to cause maximum harm and to cause me extreme distress in a very dangerous environment.

2 incidents of harassment in 2015 within 6 months and following 25 years of abuse and persecution. Certainly no indication that she has stopped.

Manage the risk:

Do nothing then my expectation is that I will certainly be abused again and I will be unable to obtain employment. I will be unable to have any relationship as it will be disrupted. I cannot have reasonable contact with my children as this is also disrupted etc etc Childish yes but very distressing.

My own suggestion for managing the risk is:-

Can I take out an injunction to prevent her contacting employers and my friends and relatives?

Can I not have this stopped by the courts.

If I do nothing the abuse will continue indefinitely.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
I'm not sure what I can add to this.
This is not harassment. You are making allegations against her and she is making allegations against you.
If you do act then, in fact, it is likely to go in her favour as the police have determined that you were wasting their time at least at one point. Of course, she is as well but that doesn't make it harassment.
If you want it to stop then the only way is to stop doing it and it is to be hoped that she will lose interest as well.
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