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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 70199
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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Divorce QuestionWife caused all kinds of problems - what

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Divorce Question
Wife caused all kinds of problems - what to do?
1. She had an affair during marriage for 3 years.
2. She has made up lies that I was violent, and got me thrown out of my own house using an occupation order without me being present in court (expired now but she can just re-apply). This is so her lover can move into my house.
3. Her lover refuses to pay me rent and is stealing my stuff in the house and breaking it. He has 2 CCJs for not paying bills, and has 2 criminal records for violence against his ex wife. He also seems to have stolen my identity to get loans
4. It is my house in my sole name and she has never worked. All my possessions are in the house and 100% of all contents have been paid for by me. My entire life is in that house
5. We have a daughter who lives with wife, who has autism - she was serious and now very well but still lot of health issues. she has constant medical and educational input which i manage as nhs have never done anything, I have to do it privately
6. Her tutors are employed by me and teach at wife's address. I am with my daughter every week all weekend and twice in the week.
7. Wife has threatened to block daughters medical treatment and education if i try to get my house back or move her lover out - this will destroy my gorgeous daughter which i cant do
8. Wife has also sais I cannot divorce her - if I try she will stop me seeing my daughter again, and my daughters health will plummet and her life be destroyed plus her faith in humanity and all her hope
9. I feel I should
a) Small claims on lover for rent
b) Charge her for perjury in court
c) Raise small claim against both of them for theft and CCJ
d) Charge for repairs to house - it is a pigsty now
e) Charge re her blackmailing me and damaging my daughters health and education
f) Remove occupation order and accusation of domestic violence
g) Obtain custody
How do I get out of this mess?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is your daughter?
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What other assets are there?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Relist: Other.
ive already dealt with this solicitor and want a new one
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
I can help with this.
The issues that you mention will have to be resolved either within the financial side of the divorce proceedings. I'm afraid you cannot use the small claims court to resolve the property isses.
You are free to divorce her for her unreasonable behaviour and the court will not stop your contact. That does not depend on the tantrums of her mother. It is your daughter's right to see you.
In fact, you could apply to the court for an order that your daughter lives with you since you would seem to be better able to care for her. However I am afraid you probably will have to make her a lump sum payment for her share of the property whether it is in your sole name or not.
I am very sorry as I disapprove as well
Can I clarify anything for you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your reply - the problem I have got is points 7 and 8 - if I even attempt to divorce her, she will block contact with my daughter, thus removeing her health treatment and her education teacher both paid by me

This is becasue currently she has 100% of my house and possessions whereas in divorce she would have less, so she sees no benefit in divorcing.

I already ahve a contact order against wife, but the reality is she can just make up excuses eg daughter is ill or doesnt want to see me, and her life will be destroyed due to having no health or education input

Hence I am unable to divorce her

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Please don't worry.
She will try all that nonsense. She will probably say that she has been abused for years and that you are a monster that eats babies. Amazing how they all remember their partners in hoods in forests chanting satanic verses when they are being taken to court for contact!
The family court will have none of it.
The days when women could use children as weapons have long gone. They will try. It will be unpleasant. You will win and she will lose.
If she breaches the contact order take her back to court for breach and she can tell a Judge why she shouldn't go to prison where she belongs.
Please don't worry.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

If divorce takes 1 year, and a return to family court another year, my daughters life will be destroyed in that time period if i dont see her and her education and private medical support is removed

She is seriously ill and cannot be one week without me never mind 2 years without serious harm happening to her health and education

She descended into severe autism the last time that happened and it has taken a massive toll on her trust and faith in humanity I cant let that happen again

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
It won't take anything like that long.
You can get emergency orders.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hello again

You sound extremely skilled and experienced - is there any possiblility I can pay you to handle all this?

Its a serious suggestion

Best wishes, Peter

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
I'm not able to accept instructions directly under the rules of this site.
Any family lawyer can help though.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 70199
Experience: Over 5 years in practice
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