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You are correct - it should be a matter for my wife, however she was unwilling at the time (not in a mentally good place) to take the matter further. I also subsequently became aware of two other ex-employees who had been bullied by the same Director and minor shareholder of the firm (one in remission from breast cancer)
In hindsight i should have just walked away, however no employee should be shouted at for making someone a coffee when they were going out - or balled at in front of other members of staff and customers.
By copying my correspondence back it has obviously left my relationship with my wife in a worse place
Thanks for your response - its no problem i'd prefer to know the facts.
Your point about ending up in the dock is duly noted.
One final question if i may? concerning DPA - should an organisation which is an estate agents with circa 10-15 staff that work in both Commercial and residential and process personal data including tenancy agreements, credit references and mortgage applications/ referrals be registered with the ICO or would their size make them exempt
thanks my understanding is that any information stored electronically or in paper/ hand written note form that can act as a key i.e. two pieces of data that can be linked to form personal data are covered under the act - i.e. my letter, e-mails to / from my wife to either my home or work e-mail, reference to me as her next of kin on an employment application etc etc
For the record (and i think you've labored this point) my wife didn't incite me, however she did obviously have to explain why she no longer had a job. I haven't written anything libelous or threatening to her employer - just a helpfully worded letter about what may constitute work place bullying and harassment as opposed to "forthright management" - being shouted at for making coffee probably isnt a good example of performance management according the the CIPD
Just a personal observation but you probably shouldn't judge everyone by your own ability to defend yourself, especially when the other person is virtually suicidal given the treatment they've received.
Finally i've seen plenty of pub fights between two men and/or two women that didn't involve a member of the opposite sex inciting them
thanks for your answers