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Net proceeds of Sale does mean any monies left over and which are due to the Seller, after payment of any Estate Agents/Solicitors fees and any Mortgage.
I am not sure what was discussed at the time, but if you lent her 40% of the purchase price, the agreement should have said that you are entitled to 40% of the gross Sale price, and not 40% of the net proceeds of Sale.
I hope this clarifies the legal position to you.
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