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Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Lawyer
Category: Law
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Experience:  Over 25 years experience in law
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My ex has just told me that he is co-habiting with a woman

Customer Question

My ex has just told me that he is co-habiting with a woman and he now wants our two children aged 5 & 8 to go to their house in London (from the Isle of Wight) to stay, i.e. my ex. is no longer willing to see our children on the Isle of Wight.
My questions are:
1. Can he demand that the children travel 100 miles each way by boat and train and tube when their school, friends, family & life is on the Island? They will be exhausted.
2. Are the full-time earnings of my ex's girlfriend who he lives with taken into account for the purpose of child maintenance. My ex. has not paid a penny for 5 months but is now required to pay £30.50 a month from 1 October.
Thank you
Struggling Mummy
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
What is proposing for this contact? A few hours or longer?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Initially he wanted for the kids to go to London every 3 or 4 weekends. I have discouraged this as it will completely tired the children out. We are now looking at him having the children during school holidays - he asked for one week at a time.

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
If it is school holidays then it is more than likely that the court would allow the children to come and visit their father in London - on the basis that the children would be safe in the journey. If he is living with his new partner then her finances can be taken into account as to his needs and as such disposable income, Happy to discuss. Please remember to rate
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you
Please be aware that the CMS/CSA do NOT Take into account his partner's income when it comes to Child Maintenance so it is not going to effect the assessment that has been made. I am sorry.
My colleague however is correct - provided your ex is happy to collect and return the children at least to Portsmouth/Southampton then it is not unreasonable for him to have them in London during school holidays (including half terms)
Clare
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
I am delighted that my colleague has agreed with me in this, is there actually a court order in place?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

There is no court order in place.

My ex was threatening going to court until we spoke today. I am hoping that he now agrees that the children travelling up & back to London at weekends would be too tiring for them and that the half term/holiday route would be better. I calculate that the kids have holidays totalling 17 weeks per year.

I also said that:

- I would need to visit the house in which my ex is living to ensure that it is safe for the children;

- meet the new girlfriend to ensure that she is kind and willing to spend time with the children (she does not have any children of her own); and

- arrange for the children to meet the new girlfriend on the Isle of Wight prior to going to them staying in her house in London.

Do you agree that the above requests are not unreasonable?

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
The court may not allow you to actually visit the house where he is living in because there will be an expectation that it is safe because he is their father. The same sadly applies to meeting his girlfriend or her attending the Isle of Wight. Whilst there are matters which he may agree to they are not matters which the court will order him to undertake. The reason is that as both of you have PR the court expects both of you (I appreciate that this does not always work) to act responsibly for the sake of the children. Happy to discuss. Please however remember to rate
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
The court may not allow you to actually visit the house where he is living in because there will be an expectation that it is safe because he is their father. The same sadly applies to meeting his girlfriend or her attending the Isle of Wight. Whilst there are matters which he may agree to they are not matters which the court will order him to undertake. The reason is that as both of you have PR the court expects both of you (I appreciate that this does not always work) to act responsibly for the sake of the children. Happy to discuss. Please however remember to rate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

My ex is a prolific liar. He was recently sacked for gross misconduct from the police for lying to his employer. I am not going to allow the children to be taken to London just because my ex says he has secure living accommodation with a woman that he is co-habiting with.

The children's safety and emotional well being is far more important than a "one glove fits all" approach assumed by the courts when it comes to PR. My ex has had little contact with the children for the last 3 years and no contact since May. He cannot be trusted and if this went to court I would have a catalogue of evidence to support that my ex cannot be trusted. I would never stop my ex from seeing the children but surely the children's well being comes before any assumptions?

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
I see. On that basis you may then prefer the matter to go to court. If you can not reach agreement then court action could involve cafe preparing a s. 7 report where upon they could be asked to undertake the work that you propose where you have such welfare concerns.
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
Please remember to rate positively - thanks

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