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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33815
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My previous partner has asked to take our Son on holiday

Resolved Question:

Hi
My previous partner has asked to take our Son on holiday during school term. The headmistress has said she will authorise this with my consent .. I would like to be represented about this or guided will be even better for me so I can put across what I would feel is better for our Sons education and well-being regarding this matter -:
The headmistress has asked me to ask for a solicitor's letter, to put in writing, that it is 'my' request to ask for what I see as a natural response to ask for half of the day's allocated to us for ' exceptional cicumstances' for example, if I needed to take my Son to hospital or to a funeral etc or any what I see as exceptional reasons to have these days given, and that I also passionately feel that it is best for our Son to follow the school rules put in place and to stay in school during school term.
Please kindly help with the following :
I already feel it's okay to ask for this and don't feel a letter is necessary but as I am dealing with my ex and the headmistress I could use some advise on how I can put in writing what I need to say and if I can do this myself without the costly fees of solicitors but with a legal standing and the law behind me.
The facts that I need to put across are:
A. The father can use 5 days this time , as he has already gone ahead and booked the holiday and told our Son that he is taking him to Morocco in November without the school or my knowledge. I feel as its already happened it's best to trust that it will work out well.
I would require 5 days of the 10 allocated for ' exceptional circumstances.'
B. I passionately feel our Son will benefit more from being at school and not distrupted with regards ***** ***** education during school term and to follow the school boundaries in place with regards ***** *****
Thank you for any input or help you can give.
Kaye
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you.Just for clarity, do you intend to agree to this trip?How old is your son
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi ClareThank you.I've just recently been informed about it. Why do you ask ?
My Son is 10.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I feel in this situation I will say yes and agree to it but with the boundaries in place I mentioned in the brief I gave about this matter.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I await reply ?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiMy apologies for the delay - I had thought the answer had been posted but clearly my typing skills have broken down againThe fact is that your ex cannot take the child out of the UK without your agreement or an Order from the Court.Given that taking a child out of school during term time is actually against the law (unless there is an emergency) then no Court will agree this trip if you refuse. (this assumes that you are both named on the Birth Certificate and there is no Court Order in place relating to whom the child should live with.)However if as you say you are in fact willing to agree then you should write to your ex pointing out that he should not have booked the holiday at all and that should he do so again then you will NOT support his application to the school.You should also write to the school and point out that the decision is their's to make and you will abide by it , but that in principal you do NOT agree with the child missing schoolI hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks ClareThis has been a 5 yr process and I went through extreme depression and anxiety. The father took me to court to try to gain custody of our Son .. this was a big shock .. he'd had no interest in our Son until then ... I had to go through every mental health care test and he lied continuously to gain access to our Son .. it was a horrific at the time. He hired the best lawyer he could .. I chose to represent myself at the time and I made sure our Sons life wasn't disrupted as best as I could .. which used up most of my energy ... the father dated, went on holiday, after holiday , Fiji 6 wks, Sri Lanka 5 wks, Morocco 3 wks, and got remarried. I stayed home and raised our son never leaving his side... I was all he had at the time .. and did what I could to rebuild a life .. ... .. I became a single parent .. Separating all contact ...at the time I had no energy to put my side of the story to court .. I was so wiped out with keeping a roof over our heads and taking care of our son .. he was 5 at the time ... the court threw out all his claims about what he claimed about me and judge said I was doing great job and all mental health checks were clear .. He did get shared care, and a month for holidays .. he stopped all payments after court stated shared care. I have had no contact with the father since ... the father was represented by a lawyer who wasn't nice at all .. I continue to raise our Son alone .. I am starting to form a supportive network which helps .. in Cornwall I live alone ... family in London .. .. I'm stronger and my business is moving forward .. times are still tough but it's better .. our Son is healthy and thriving at least.When I took our Son on holiday during Summer break ( gift from grandparents) I had to hire a solicitor to get Joel's passport from his Father .. he got very agitated and ask for the passport to be returned as soon as we returned ..I see the passport as Joel's and don't want to deal with him each time I would like to use passport .. I've chosen to pass passport to the school for safe keeping . I've not received the letter from his solicitor as yet.
What is your view Clare ? Is there any legal protection I can receive ?
The court order was drawn up in November last year ? I moved away cos I went through great mental abuse in that relationship. It's taken a long time to start to feel more ' alive' and able feel like myself again. What is your suggestion here ?Thank you
Kaye
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi KayeHow many nights a month does your son actually spend with his father?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
14
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
What is the pattern?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Our Son gets picked up by his Father from car park outside our home on Sunday and I pick him up from school on weds or sometimes he is free to walk to his friends home or my studio .. both approx 10 minutes away.Every other Sat from 2 pm I drop him off at his fathers place.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
OkOn that basis he is allowed to take the child abroad without your permission whilst the child is in his care - but not for the period when the child is in your careIt depends how much your child wishes to go on this holiday. If he does then write the letter above - if not simply tell the school and your ex that he is not going
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks. My Son says he'd like to go yes and he has thanked me for allowing him to have a relationship continuously with his Dad.I'm still not sure what to do,. I need some time to decide best course of action.Thank you Clare
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
That is fine - in that case simply tell the school that the decision s theirs to make and not yours
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33815
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
Clare and 3 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes I also respect this and am happy to leave it to the school to decide and I've also given the passport to the school for safe keeping.
Do I actually need to send a letter Clare ?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Not if you do not wish to - simply tell the school that the decision is theirs
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I feel the same .. what about the headmistress saying she wanted a letter from a solicitor ? I don't feel it's right I'm asked to produce a letter .. it's not my decision, it's the school that has to be able to make that decision. I've just said how I feel and see it as our Sons Mum.
Do you agree?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I do agree - you do not need a letter - you simply say it is for the school to decide
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks and what about my Son saying his Father is sending a solicitors letter to state he is taking our Son on holiday and to give him the passport ? Is it okay to let our Son know that as there is no contact allowed, his passport is at the school and that I have no objection to him going away with his Father if that's what he would like and its cleared with the school ?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I would just wait and see if there is a letter
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you Clare .. I'll trust the outcome will be the best one all round.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I hope all goes well
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Bless you Clare, thank you for your support and guidance.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
You are welcome
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Clare
I'd like to put in writing to the school that the 10 days allocated for exceptional reasons are shared, 5 days each, and that due to the 'no contact' policy our Sons passport be protected and kept in the safe at school, as a neutral pick up point.How would you advise this to be done, in a professional, legal written letter/ document. Is that something just law can help with ? It will be for the school to have a signed document of this information so the school can use it however is necessary. Do you advise this too ?Kaye
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Have the school actually agreed to hold the passport?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes .. The school has been given the passport ... the headmistress offered to place it in the school safe.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Is this a State school?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It has recently become an academy.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
i am afraid that the school cannot agree to divide the days in this way - after all we are talking about "exceptional circumstances' which may require more than five days - what you shoudl make clear is that you do not regard a holiday as an "exceptional circumstance"You also need to understand that whilst they can hold the passport - and release it on request - they cannot insist that it is returned to them
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I accept and understand, thank you Clare.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I hope all goes well
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you, I'm sure it will be okay.

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