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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34235
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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If my children tell me my ex partner has a new boyfriend who

Resolved Question:

If my children tell me my ex partner has a new boyfriend who has started sleeping over from the first time of meeting and they saw him and their mum naked having kisses and hugs because they sleep in the same room can I keep my children with me. She also smacks them regularly and apparently drinks in front of them as does he. Children have found cans in the morning and even walked in on them having sex on the sofa (no visual witnessing of actual sex). My exs brother also slapped my 8yr old in the face in front of the whole family, when asked the mum said "it wasn't hard" son said it was.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information firstHow old are the children and how is their time shared between you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi,
8 and 6, I get them from fri to sun frortnightly

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Have the school raised any issues?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

No

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
It is not sufficient to mean that you can simply keep them.If you do that then your ex will apply for an immediate Order that the children are returned to her care and this is likely to be granted - which will make it difficult to have contact in the futureHowever these are issues that you should try and discuss with your ex using Family Mediationwww.familymediationhelpline.co.ukIf that fails then you may need to consider an applictaion to the court for a Child Arrangement Order so that the children spend more time with you - and the issue syou raise can be investigated.Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

If she can seek an emergency court order then can't I too? Does the fact the children wish to stay with me count for anything?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

No reply?

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry
We are all working lawyers and accordingly at weekends sometimes the real world has to intrude and there are delays
Your ex would be able to seek an emergency Order as on the face of it you would simply have "kept" the children from her
The incidents you quote COULD amount to sufficient to concern the court and change the arrangements but are not such that you could rely on the court taking your side immediately.
At 6 and 8 your are still at the age where they will sometimes simply say what they thin k the parent that they are with wishes to hear - which is why at this stage their wishes are of limited importance.
However if you take a slow and reasoned approach then it is not impossible that you will get the result you want eventually - but if you act precipitously then you could lose and that would not be good for your children
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