I have seperated with my partner one year ago. We have a 2year old daughter. It took me a long time to end this relationship, as he was using all the ways to keep me with him, from suicidal threats to making me feel guilty and responsible for everything.
He knows exactly where to hit and what to say to make me think twice, as we used to spend a lot of time together. During this time I have learned that he is the most selfish, narcisstic person, with no respect to anyone or anything, but he is also a great actor. Currently he made me look crazy in the eyes of most people, claiming that our relationship ended because I was cheating on him, which isn't true. My self-esteem, confidence was at it's lowest when with him.
Anyways, once he moved out, he left all his belongings, including furniture, white goods etc. as he went to live with his parents and there was nowhere for him to store it. He was waiting for some money which he got this year so he can rent his own place. If I'm honest, I do have concerns for him to be fully capable of taking care of our baby. He does have medical recorods of mental illnesses, so does his mother, who was trying to commit suicide few times. His father attacked his mother, in a winter last year with a knife, them lock himself in for few days, not letting anyone in. I let my ex to spend new years eve with me, as he didn't have nowhere to go.
He is being absolutely disrespectful towards me and my family, I thought we would be able to make an agreement without taking any court actions. I was struggling to start with our break up, regarding the childcare, as he was too busy getting drunk, Ive missed many days at work etc, but I thought I'd give me a chance at being a father.
He asked me to prepare a plan, on which days he will be seeing Hanna, so I did. Based on this plan, everything was going fine. I thought he will understand why I can't be with him and everything will be fine.
But for the past few days, he is behaving very suspicious. Since he got all the money he needed, and he is planning to rent his own house any time soon, he came to me saying, he is taking everything he paid for, which include essentials such as washing machine and vacuum cleaner, saying it will be gone within two days.
For the past year, he didn't pay me anyting for a baby, as I didn't want to, I said to him he still don't need to pay, as long as I can keep some stuff. Just because he will use all the ways to make my life miserable, he started to be a bit aggressive with me, so I have started deffending myself, saying there is something I deserve after all the job I am doing. I said, he can take anything he wants, as long as he pay me 1k, for the past year and for the storage of his stuff. It was a long SMS conversation, from arguing to him all of a sudden changing his mind, saying he just want a TV and he won't pay me anything.
Tonight, he came to take his dog for a walk, as the dog still lives with me, and I have prepared an agreement between me and him on what to agree regarding raising our child.
I did it in our mother language, but as soon as I was passing this to him, saying 'just read, sign it and return it me' he started to laugh into my face, saying it should be in English, in case of a court action. I wanted him to hand it back to me so I can translate it,but he just ignored me and turned his back at me. I have reached to take the papers from him, he didn't want to give them back, we had a bit of a pushing about, after that with all the madness in his eyes he lifted his fist above me, all I said was 'don't you even dare'. Then he just walked away a few steps and spit right into my face.
All I am concerned about is my daughter, I don't know if the atmosphere in his house is good, I know about his mental disorders, as well as over using of alcohol and drugs. He keep saying he doesn't do it anymore, but I don't belive him.
He turned my life into a right hell, it was fine for a few months, but now it's becoming even worse. I have my reasons to believe he is capable of anything. Yesterday he made a threat that I should be careful what I'm saying to him, if I don't want any trouble. I also got suspects that he might try to escape with our kid somewhere abroad as he insists on getting a passport for her, so he can take her for holiday, which I think is an absurd as she is only two, doesn't spent more than 2 days a week with him.
My question is what are my rights as a mother? What can I do to protect myself and a baby?
I would appreciate any advice and thanks for your help