How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33806
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
13262538
Type Your Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

Morning! I have an agreement (through a letter between solicitors

Resolved Question:

Morning!
I have an agreement (through a letter between solicitors but not through the courts) with my husband that he has our children (aged 9 and 11) from 3.30pm until 7.30 on a Tuesday evening. Previously the arrangement was that he put them in after school club then picked them up, took them to his house - 5 mins away and then had time with them until dropping them at mine at 7.30pm. This worked well. Our eldest has now started secondary school so the routine was that she comes back to mine, does her homework and then my ex husband picks her up about 5pm. However the arrangements have changed a lot recently. My ex husband now lives 25 mins away from me at his girlfriends house. The girls share a room there but don't have many belongings from what I can gather. Tuesday evenings now for our 11 year old consist of being in the car about an hour, spending about an hour in a house where she doesn't have many of her things and only seeing her dad for about 45 mins outside of the driving. Our youngest has football club at the place where his girlfriends house is so my ex husband has to drop her there and pick her up - hence why my eldest doesn't see her dad for long. The last few Tuesdays my eldest has really misbehaved as she doesn't want to go with her dad as she doesn't enjoy it.
Legally where do I stand? Last night she had a toddler tantrum for about 20 mins because she didn't want to go with her dad tonight. She is not normally like this but has been lately with him. As a mother I want to ensure she is happy and I know that she isn't at the moment with the Tuesday routine. The overnight and weekend routines seem to be better - or at least she tolerates them. She would rather not see her dad at all but I know it's important for her to be in contact with him.
My ex doesn't seem to understand her point of view and forces her to do what the routine is but I would like to cut her some slack and maybe have the Tuesday routine as every other week?
He sees the children overnight every other Thursday and every other weekend Friday to Sunday. Any advice would be great. She is 11 now so surely she can start to make these decisions?
Thanks
Lucy
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information first.Does the Overnight contact still go ok?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sometimes. Immy does try not to go with my ex husband and given the chance she would stay with me. Lately she has been having strops with my ex husband - much more than with me.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
The starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family Mediation and a Mediator trained to work with young people so that your daughters views form part of the discussion
If he still refuses to attend then you can simply say that Tuesday nights are too much for your daughter and will only happen on alternate weeks - and then simply do that.
If your ex objects and wishes to apply to the court he will have to go to mediation first anyway
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. Would the courts see a 25-30 min commute to school in the morning too much for the girls every week? His latest response is that they should stay with him overnight on a Tuesday to minimise the driving time. My eldest picks up her friend at 8 am so they have to leave his girlfriends house at 7.30 and that means my youngest is up early as well even though she doesn't need to be at school until 8.40. When all the arrangements were made my ex lived 5 mins away not 25-30 mins away.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
It i snot likely to be seen as a major problem I am afraid - after all they cope with it on alternate Friday's - and the most obvious answer would be not to pick up the friend.....
However I suggest that you say that these are issues that can be dealt with in Mediation
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33806
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks. My youngest is struggling with alternate Fridays as she has to get up so early and she isn't a morning person. Thanks for your advice.

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
  • A quick response, a succinct and helpful answer in simple English. I believe I can now confront the counter party with confidence -- worth the 30 bucks! Rick
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Jo C.

    Jo C.

    Barrister

    Satisfied Customers:

    30316
    Over 5 years in practice
< Previous | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/EM/emus/2015-7-7_192327_bigstockportraitofconfidentfemale.64x64.jpg Jo C.'s Avatar

    Jo C.

    Barrister

    Satisfied Customers:

    30316
    Over 5 years in practice
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/BE/benjones/2015-12-1_0437_ennew.64x64.jpg Ben Jones's Avatar

    Ben Jones

    UK Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    11553
    Qualified Solicitor - Please start your question with 'For Ben Jones'
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/BU/Buachaill/2012-5-25_211156_barrister5.64x64.jpg Buachaill's Avatar

    Buachaill

    Barrister

    Satisfied Customers:

    1754
    Barrister 17 years experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JO/jojobi/2013-3-19_0265_maxlowryphoto.64x64.jpg Max Lowry's Avatar

    Max Lowry

    Advocate

    Satisfied Customers:

    894
    LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/UK/UKLawyer/2012-4-12_9849_F2.64x64.jpg UK_Lawyer's Avatar

    UK_Lawyer

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    750
    I am a qualified solicitor and an expert in UK law.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kasare/kasare.64x64.jpg Kasare's Avatar

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    402
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/OS/osh/2015-7-7_19268_gettyimagesb.64x64.jpg Joshua's Avatar

    Joshua

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    8199
    LL.B (Hons), Higher Prof. Dip. Law & Practice