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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 70204
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I have an ex boyfriend who won't stop contacting me. This

Customer Question

Hi, I have an ex boyfriend who won't stop contacting me. This Sunday I got 13 missed calls and another day I got 57 messages. We broke up two years ago. He says he won't stop until I talk to him, but talking to him makes no difference. I've blocked his number but I still get notifications and texts. He's never hurt me or threatened to, but there have been times when I've been scared or intimidated of him. The situation is making me feel anxious, is there anything I can do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Hi.
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
Are you calling him back?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. I have done previously but I'm trying not to now, he had mental health issues and he would imply that if I didn't he would hurt himself, but I don't think it really achieved anything . For the past few months I've only messaged to ask him to stop really
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
How many times has he contacted you since the last time you contacted him?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I messaged him this this evening. Max is my current partner and my ex had had a long rant about him. "This is nothing to do with Max. You are making me feel uncomfortable. Please stop", before tonight it was at 26 since sunday, when we were both at the same university reunion
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Ok.
What is becoming clear about this is that you are responding. You might not much be enjoying contact but that isn't harassment. Actions don't become harassment until you tell a person to stop and to behave in a way that is consistent with that.
Just send him one text telling him no more nor less than that you would prefer it if he stopped contacting you. That is likely to provoke some contact in protest which is fair enough but just ignore that. If he makes contact then ignore that. He will stop fast enough. I have only ever seen one genuine incident of harassment in my entire years in practice. It is rare that a person continues when he is genuinely not being encouraged for any length of time as there is just plain no payoff.
If that does fail then you can always make a report to the police who will give him a harassment warning but I wouldn't suggest it. Truth is, it is the type of report that says as much about the accuser as it does about the accused. It shouldn't and it wouldn't if people didn't use the police as a mediation service but unfortunately they do and that has an impact upon us all.
You can also seek an injunction at the county court but there is cost in that and not really a need.
On no account get your new partner involved in this. It will only expose him to risk.
Can I clarify anything for you?
Jo
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi jo, that's really helpful, thank you
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
No problem and all the best.
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