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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33817
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Hiya, I have reason to believe that I may have been the victim

Resolved Question:

Hiya,
I have reason to believe that I may have been the victim of an illegal adoption.
My parents names are ***** ***** birth certificate.
However I have early childhood memories which imply they are not my natural parents plus 3 points of fact which are from later life and which can only point to that conclusion. And which appear to strongly suggest my auntie is my birth mother.
I don't know who I am as a result and need to find out as soon as possible for my own piece of mind. My father (according to birth certificate) has now died but my mother (according to birth certificate) is still alive.
The family have refused to answer my questions.
What are my rights and options as to how to proceed?
Is family law the right avenue to resolve this ?
Many thanks,
Lucy
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi Thank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help youWhen were you born?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
1974
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi claire !
It was Sept 1974 and in a small midwife led maternity unit made from a converted house in a rural area in Essex
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
It was not unusual for illegitimate children to be brought up as the children of other family members - nor for the birth certificate to reflect it.Do you still see the mother named on the birth certificate?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My parents names are ***** ***** birth certificate.
Also my extended family visited me in the nursing home maternity house place and my mum was in the bed with me the day after I was born...
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Are you still in contact with your mother?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Unfortunately not she is not speaking to me. I suffered a lot of abuse at the hands of her dead husband my dad on my birth certificate and she has told my siblings I have lied about this which has created a huge family blanking of myself. She tells new people she meets that she has 4 children not 5
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
What makes you think that your aunt is your mother?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The family are really quite dysfunctional and narcissistic in the grand scheme of things, I live far away from them and only have contact with my sister. I can't trust them to do a voluntary dna test because of their past behaviour plus the nature of the issue and can't physically manage a journey down there as mobility impaired following car accident !
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So I have several early childhood memories which are genuine memories but I don't believe would stand up in court because of my age at the time but I am somewhere high functioning on the autistic spectrum (undiagnosed but) and could talk at 10 months in sentences and hold a conversation like an "average to intelligent" 5 yr old by age 1 to 1.5SoThe 3 points are:(my auntie lived with us until I was about 21 months old. The story goes she was married to her brother in law's little brother. They split up and she went to live with my mum and dad. She was pregnant and had a miscarriage and went ill from it and wouldn't see or speak to anyone or leave my mum and dads house until a few weeks after I was born.)Point 1:I am 2 1/4 ( but could talk like a clever 6 or 7 yr old if we are going on averages)
My Mum is pregnant with my little sister and putting oil on her belly and getting dressed. I am playing in the bottom of the wardrobe with the shoes and hat boxes. Right at the back I find an object and bring it out for inspection. It's a dome shape, made from polystyrene and covered in tan colour tights material with an elasticated velcro strap attached.
I say what's this?
Mum says it's a prosthesis.
I say what's a prosthesis ?
She says come and sit down and I will tell you all about it.
(i remember it because of the very bad feeling it left but that's etched it in my mind)
This baby here *pointing to her bump* is a good baby. Not like you, you being you were a bad baby, because you just always like to be awkward and stubborn. This baby is a Good baby and it's growing properly, look it's grown all the way to here (about the size of a 6 months pregnancy hence working out my age at the time) and it's growing properly because it's a good baby, not a bad baby like you were, you Refused to grow, you grew a tiny bit, just like thumbelina, but then you Refused to grow any more because you're so stubborn - so I had to use this for you to be born because your tummy has to get to be a certain size you see, before the baby can be born.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Point 2 and 3 to follow just my tea is ready
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Point 2
At regular points throughout my childhood and adolescence my mum has insisted on repeating these frustratingly vague details to me.
So she says it's important that I know about why my auntie used to live in our house. She says it's a massive family secret and I must never tell anyone. She said my auntie was married to a nasty man (who I recently found out was my uncles brother) who she split up from and came to live with my parents and was pregnant and my mum and dad helped her. My mum refuses to discuss what it was that they did, which is frustrating so I have said did they help her have an abortion ? (no) was it a miscarriage (no - although my uncle and other family members reckon she had a miscarriage and then wouldn't speak to or see anyone for ages) did they give the baby away (no) and that's frustrating to a child or teenager so you just put it down to a narcissistic parent trying to make a point about how nice they are and stop asking questions....
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Point 3:
When I was about 18 I started going to my auntie's house once a week to help with her ironing. The last time I went (because of the row which ensued after I wasn't allowed to go back again) she said she had asked me to come help her because she had wanted to spend some time with me and because she wanted to talk to me about something.
She said I want to talk with you about something from a long time ago. When I used to live at your house. Has your mum talked with you about what happened when I lived with you ?
I said we'll kind of vaguely, I don't understand what it's got to do with me or why she wants me to Know she did something kind for you before I was born...
My auntie said what did she say ?
I said only that her and dad did whatever the kind thing was for you, and that they had made some massive sacrifice or something like this but I don't understand why I need to know and she said it was a secret.
My auntie went white then livid then started ranting about how they did nothing for her and she sacrificed everything for them and gave them everything. She said my parents had her over a barrel and she couldn't say anything and told me "you go right back to your mum and say they never did anything for me I did everything for them "So I thought all the adults had lost it since they didn't have a very good behaviour track record... and went home and relayed the message. My mum snorted and said good grief your aunty is such a drama queen and so melodramatic all the time, she did absolutely nothing for us, we did everything for her, especially your dad he made the ultimate sacrifice. Then they had a row and I wasn't allowed back again because I shouldn't have even told my auntie I knew about this secret thing.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
This won't stand up in court but when I was about 1.5, or 1 1/4 around thenish, my mum and my auntie had a row about whether or not I could actually understand what they were saying if I could have a conversation with them and my auntie said yes she is answering with the right words of course she understands what she's saying - but the parents insisted I was mimicking conversation without understanding because the child development targets said different. I kept telling them I could understand them and wasn't stupid but they just patted me on the head.
So my auntie said right well if you're going to insist she doesn't understand I am going to tell her then. She then proceeded to explain something about herself and myself which I didn't understand because she used some words I didn't know what they were referring to and was talking about ideas I didn't understand but it left me with a feeling that I ought to only be with her and never leave her and not with the people who were already quite unpleasant to be around when my aunt wasn't in the house.
She said do you understand me? And I said I understand a little bit about what you are saying but I don't understand all of the words you are using. She said do you understand and I said I think so. She said and what do you think about it then? And I looked her right in the eye and said well then I hate you. And from then until she left was so upset about the fact I loved her and she was leaving that I would run in front of the fridge or toilet and block her way and shout you are not going in here this is my fridge or toilet and you can't use it because I hate you and it's not yours.
She would try to get in and I would go wild with rage and bite and scratch and hurt her until someone physically moved me out the way. Until she left when I was 1 3/4. They said to my aunt I was just being stubborn and awkward and it wasn't anything to do with what she had said to me because I didn't understand anything.It's been a family story about the "aunty bashing" as the family calls it, so I didn't forget....even though it was long ago, if you understand stuff and it's had a strong feeling attached you remember too , although them repeating the story about my random violence for no reason as they put it,has helped me remember
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So I know the last bit wouldn't stand up in a court or whatever but the 3 points can only lead me to one conclusion and that's a paperwork fraud and me being my auntie's...I have approached my auntie and said I am not cross with her I just want to know about who I am and have just added up these 3 points and if she had something to tell me it's better if she just tells me rather than me having to get a dna test done.... She has chosen to refuse to speak with me.
My mum isn't speaking with me.I feel like the next thing would be a dna test with my mum ?Is there a way to sort out these kinds of things which doesn't cost me loads of money given I am a potential victim of a crime or something like this ? Would I get legal aid to help with finding out who I am? I am a single mum who has been off work a year after a motorway crash and just starting a phased return to my part time job, am on a very low income right now
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have looked on Facebook for interest sake and the current photo of my auntie's ex husband (who she was pregnant To according to family story) 's son (who would be my half brother if suspicion is correct) looks strikingly like a photo of me at the same age, more so than my brother by paperwork (who would be my half cousin if my auntie is my birth mother)
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
is your sister likely to be willing to give a sample and are you meant to have the same parents?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My sister might do but she has ms and is quite poorly a lot of the time, lives in London, is already upset about the family situation and doesn't deserve to have to be stressed out about something which I guess could also be everyone telling me a bunch of lies in order to make me appear mentally ill in order to support their family coverup of my childhood full of sexual abuse, which my brothers and sisters did not suffer. Also I have reason to believe my sister may be the result of some kind of sperm donation since my mum had private fertility treatment and when they got pregnant with my brother (3Rd child) it was a real shock because a consultant had told them they wouldn't be able to have children and my dad got drunk and started shouting hooray ! I'm not a jaffa ! This is proof !So I have a feeling my sister might find out something about herself which might be easier to handle if you had sought it yourself that way... I feel like my mum should be the person to provide dna and be stressed about it if anyone has to since she would have been responsible for the fraud if there has been one
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sister also has high up engineering job in head office of performance car specialist manufacturer spends a lot of hours at work more than a 9-5 person, works under a lot of pressure and is ill and already feels a lot of family pressure being the only person who still speaks with me.. I don't feel she needs the stress of that I feel like the people who caused the stress should answer to it and nobody else should have to worry about it unless we find out its true in which case I will tell everyone, because we need to know, and change my name accordingly. If that leads my Lil sister to question anything I will answer her questions honestly etc and she could get a test with one of our brothers to find out if they share a dad... That's how I feel things should go, that's what seems fair to me
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That should say sister is in London which is 300 miles from me and they had private fertility treatment to get pregnant with her.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Then were told by a normal hospital consultant afterwards that they would never be able to have children. Subsequently some years later my brothers came along naturally.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It's more juicy than a 5 day eastenders Christmas special !! Lol
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I feel really angry because you can't really add those points up to anything else and it's not likely to be a trick given I found the prosthesis... And that means that I have lived 41 years not knowing who I really am and have missed out on knowing who my real parents were and so did my birth dad who was led to believe I never existed and I have half siblings I have been denied a relationship with and my name is ***** ***** I have to seek a solicitor to get an honest answer I want compensation for having had to live a lie, and be with those people without knowing they were not my real parents :/
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The suspected birth father is now dead so denied ever knowing him... That feels big to me.. I want to know the truth and if it's what it looks like then I want some redress from my adoptive mother for the fraud.
I feel like a pregnant woman is vulnerable and if that felt like an option that would allow her baby to be born it would be easy for her to be manipulated into a dodgy dealing because you're vulnerable when pregnant. But the adoptive mother is not vulnerable in that situation plus the adoptive father (if it's true) went on to abuse me so I personally would hold them responsible and not the vulnerable birth mother person at the time, who is currently a vulnerable person again since she is poorly with cancer right now.What would happen to everyone if it was true and it all came out? Would everyone go to court or would it be only the people I wanted to press charges against ?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry that's such a long answer !
I am quite aspie and can't manage short sentences however hard I try.. Sorry
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
I am sorry but the first thing I need to say is that despite your understandable feelings there is no basis on which this would be seen as anything other than a family arrangement designed to deal with the outcome of a failed marriage and possibly to fulfill your parents wish for a child.
It will not be seen as a crime, and insofar as the issue of the Birth Registration is concerned you will not be seen as a victim of crime
Nor will any compensation be payable for this part of your childhood story.
There will be no prosecutions and there is no action you can take against any of the people involved
However that does not mean that you are not entitled to know the truth about your biological origin - and indeed if you are NOT the child of the people name don your birth certificate you are entitled to a Birth Certificate which reflects the truth.
The question is how you approach this given the issue of costs and the reluctance of people involved.
If you sister will co-operate and give a swab using one of the cheaper DNA testing options it will give you a starting point.
If you do not share sufficient DNA to be siblings then you have the evidence you need to take the matter further with your Aunt and your mother
If they will still not co-operate then you can apply to the Court for a Declaration of Parentage which will allow the Court to Order DNA testing of the three of you - and for the result to be used to amend your birth certificate.
However if you have not already done so (although I am sure that you have) do get a full copy of your birth certificate first - just to check that it is a birth certificate and not an adoption one.
I appreciate that this is not the answer you wanted - but I hope it will give you a way through to find the truth.
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
https://m.youtube.com/results?q=illegal+adoptions+-+RTÉ%27s+morning+edition+&sm=12I'm confused because this news article appears to suggest it's a crime, it's a fraud..Yes my full birth certificate has my parents on
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am a victim of crime because if it's true my dad did that in order to groom and traffic me...
But that's separate to knowing who I am...Is knowing who you are not a basic right under the human rights act?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your help x
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
There are indeed illegal adoptions where children are taken at birth and essentially "sold" to strangers.
This is very different to the family arrangement that you have described and you certainly were not trafficked - which would involve you being passed on to people to whom you were in now ay biologically connected.
You are indeed entitled to know the truth - hence the ability to make the applictaion to court for a Declaration fo Parentage
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I was trafficked. I was groomed from the age of 1 3/4 and then introduced to many of my dad's "friends" who abused me then gave him money. That's trafficking x
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That's motivation for not telling someone that they were adopted because if I had known properly like been told in a way I could understand I would have run away the first time I began to have suicidal thoughts due to believing all men were pedophiles age 5. I would have run to my auntie's house and asked her to save me.
Having a child you can pimp out is motivation for agreeing or wanting to adopt them too
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Whether niece or daughter incestuous Child Sexual abuse is a heinous crime - but it is not trafficking which would involve the deliberate movement of a child away from the family from one part of the country to another for the purpose of abuse - however the fact that it i snot trafficking is irrelevant when considering what actually happened and I hope you have sought counselling to help you through this.I agree that if you are indeed your aunts child you should have been told - but in the 7's and 80's it was still usual for children NOT to be told - an appalling abuse in itselfYou need to focus on starting the process that gives you ownership of your identity
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Trafficking is taking your groomed child out with a cb, looking for punters and then meeting them in laybys or other places so they could sexually abuse the groomed child and then receive money....I' m not saying my aunt would have helped me but I am saying that's motivation for wanting to adopt me.My father was a driver for the alleged establishment pedophile ring which is currently being covered up in the "inquiry" by judge Goddard who is a member of the Queens bench or something and therefore part of the same network of people who are under investigation and some of the politicians involved are also part of the inquiry. It's not safe for anyone to take part. All survivors I am in contact with have been either sectioned or publicly ridiculed or had their children removed "for risk of future emotional harm" on reporting having survived what they did. Because of who is involved and where the head of the ring is and what part those people have to play in the judicial system. They will only uncover dead or "senile" people like janner and Savile who were sadomasochists. We need an overhaul of the justice system and the prison system to be able to deal safely and effectively with them. It's not safe for me to take that stuff forward and will only make the problem worse which is already really bad and is not historic because people didn't just randomly stop what they were doing and take up yoga instead
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
But I was adopted to be trafficked, which is definitely the right legal term.... If it's true that I am adopted... Trafficked For a lot of money like 140 or 180 a time in the 70s that's a lot of money...But I just thought it would be wrong to have been affected by a birth certificate fraud in the first place..
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
How can it not be illegal to lie about someone's identity ? The law doesn't seem to make sense to me
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
It was in fact procuring rather than trafficking - although the distinction would only be relevant were criminal prosecution involved.
Regardless of the word what was done to you was wrong on every level
Your starting point remains to prove once and for all who your biological parents were so that you can change your birth certificate to the correct details
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Procuring being the act of getting the child from the birth mother right ? And trafficking being what he did on the cb radio selling me to people ? Like 2 separate things?Aye you're right there it was totally wrong on every level.Unfortunately people won't willingly swap palaces and parliamentary houses in nice comfort for a failing prison system and witchhunt victimisation and the prison system needs to offer them comfortable respite from their addictions in a therapeutic and secure environment (like all prisoners should get anyway) and survivors a way of taking a freemason to court without coming up against problems - like a people's court or something, and the children and families system where it's not possible to collect children and take them to establishment parties and then we will be onto a winner. Changing public opinion in this regard is very difficult and I am regularly ridiculed for this informed viewpoint when expressing it (anonymously but) publicly. It goes right up to the very top this ring. Allegedly and according to my experience.So basically it's get a dna sample off my sister or nothing then? At this point ?Thanks so much for your help x
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Would it still be procuring if he had only abused me himself ? Or would that be a private adoption with incest ?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
No "procuring" is when he sold your services to other men.
The adoption issue is a separate one entirely.
The DNA sample gives you an easier starting point for your journey since she is on good terms with you and hopefully will see this as a way of proving once and for all that you are mistaken - indeed that could be the best way to approach it with her.
The bombshell can be dropped later
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Me sister already knows about the abuse..
Ok, thankyou very much for your help x
So yeah the adoption is separate though it will have been for that reason since they went on to have subsequent children who were not groomed or sold on to other people and were generally treated differently I was treated like an au pair.Yes I agree that suggesting I am mistaken and want confirmation of that sounds like the best way to approach that with my sister..Thanks for your help
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I hope it works - and if you need help with the applictaion for a Declaration of Parentage when the time comes - please ask me!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok thanks I will do.Would that be something I would have to pay for or would it be something I would be able to get legal aid for or something ?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Sadly no legal aid - but you do not need a solicitor - you can deal with the forms yourself!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Just found it online - ok I understand you -
Ok! Will come back again if I get to that bit and need help knowing what to put in the boxes. Gotcha. Thanks !
Night night
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Good night
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33817
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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