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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33827
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Our daughter needs help to mediate with her former partner

Customer Question

Our daughter needs help to mediate with her former partner regarding their 12 year old son. Our grandson's father is manipulating his son's thinking. I feel our daughter needs
expert advise through a professional organisation but do not know what is available.
Have traced you through Google. Can you help please? Ann Hodgson
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Hi, thanks for your question.
To find a local independent mediator your daughter should search here: familymediationcouncil.org.uk
The mediator will assist them in reaching an amicable agreement regarding arrangements between each parent and if mediation can not assist them in doing so then they will certify that they cannot assist and your daughter can pursue a court application for a child arrangement order (either to state who the child lives with or when the child sees the other parent)
Please let me know if you have any further questions regarding this.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** I have been a family lawyer for more than 30 years.It will be easier to assist if you can outline what is happening with regard to the child
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33827
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Our grandson's father is manipulating his son's thinking. Our grandson is now 12 years old
he went to Senior School last September and is now starting to question his situation.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
What is the child actually saying?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He is starting to say he doesn't want to go to his Dad's
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Has he said why?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I think at the age of 12, having moved up to senior school (Sept '15) he feel living on an unhygienic one-room boat on the River Ouse in York is not normal - possibly - my interpretation - isolating him from his fellow school mates. Clare, just getting to understand this system of questions and answers. Believe I asked, in one e-mail, at what age can a child say with which parent her lives?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
how much time does he spend there (and yes this is the age when they do start to "see" things differently
clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
About 50 per cent. Everyother week-end and two nights a week.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Where does he sleep when with his father?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
In the same room which is sit-room, bed room, kitchen. I have not been on the boat but this is position as I
understand it.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
So in fact he is simply saying he does not want to go as often?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I don't quite know about that. Will see him again week-end 6/7 Feb and try to make discreet enquires. But I don't think he says
he doesn't want to see his Dad. My feeling is he has become aware that life on his Dad's boat makes him different from his
school friends. I asked in a previous e-mail 17.01.16 "at what age can a child say with which parent he wishes to live?"
Have had no reply to this question.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
That is strange as I remember answering it
Te legal age is 16 - but in the period between 12 and 16 the wishes of the child are of increasing importance and are likely to be followed by the court unless there are strong reasons not to.
IN this case I am unsure exactly what the young man is asking for
However your daughter should look for a family mediator trained to work with young people so that the wishe sof the child can be heard
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do family mediators usually have both parents present? Do they charge? Father would not pay. Father is also a manipulating
convincing talker. How long can we continue this conversation for the fee originally paid?

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