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ukfamilysolicitor
ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 854
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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I have had reason to get a court order after my ex wife wanted

Resolved Question:

I have had reason to get a court order after my ex wife wanted to change our contact arrangements for my two boys . However after only 1 year of it being in force it as lead to a lot of emotional distress for my boys. They have constantly being refused to be allowed to come to there football practice because i believe i am a coach for my younger lads team and she dosent like this and the boys refuse to want to go back to mums. Holidays are pretty much the same and they both constanly say they want to live with me. They have both tried running away. In june 2015 they both told a friend of ours whilst on a day out that mum reguarly was slapping them in the face and was locking them in there bedrooms. I have tried mediation and family group conferencing only for mum to deny any wrong doing. At xmas she took the boys out of school on a night i was to pick them up and kept them overnight claiming that was part of the court order this lead to a lot of emotional distress for the boys as she also refused to bring them to a surprize football party to which my two where the only ones not allowed to come. This as gone on now for just over 6 years and the boys have had to endure her changes on at least 5 previous change of contact to suit her . ?????
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 1 year ago.
Hello
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist you.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having.
Please may I ask a few questions:
1) how old are your children?
2) when was the court order made?
3) what time does the current order provide for in relation to your boys spending time with you?
4) when was you last at mediation?
Kind Regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
youngest is 9 this year and oldest is 11 this year,
Court oder was made November 2014,
Week 1 boys are with me thurs evening until back to school tues morning,
and Week 2 boys are with me thurs evening only.
We last attended mediation in december 2015. The boys where also seen by the mediator around july/august for there views to which mum as rebuffed and denied any wrong doing
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 1 year ago.
Hello
Thank you for your response.
Please could I kindly ask you to detail further for me the incidents which you are describing as the 'wrong doing'.
Kind Regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Both my boys told a friend of ours whilst the boys where on a day out with her that mun had been slapping them both in the face. Also that when they tried to run away she would lock them away in her bedroom she as denied this but both of them confirmed this was true to the mediator. I have a statement from my friend as she was upset by what the boys had told her .
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 1 year ago.
I'm sorry to hear this.
We're social services told about this? Did they investigate?
Kind Regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No unfortunately they was not informed the mediator wanted to talk to mum to answer the allegations to which i agreed however i now feel this was the wrong decision. I did inform the police as my youngest son resfused to back home with mum and they performed a welfare check on him at my house. mediation as now broken down as mum no longer wants the boys to be seen again by the mediator as they continue to say they want to live with me and mum dosent want them to have an oppoin instead stating that she wants to continue with the court order she believes this is in the boys best interest . Which i totally disagree as even children should have a voice.
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 1 year ago.
Hello
Thank you for your response and for clarifying that for me.
I do consider that you are going to have to return matters back to court so that court can:
1) investigate the disclosures being made by your boys that they have been physically chastised by their mother, and also that they have been locked in their room by their mother (such a report is likely to be a Section 7 report)
and
2) for the court to decide with whom the boys should live / spend time with.
The courts Answer to 2) will likley be as a result of any investigation completed in respect of the disclosures made under 1).
The court will as part of any invesitgatio it orders to be undertaken - will take into account the wishes and feelings of your boys, more so your elder boy, but this will balanced against their age and understanding.
The court will consider that it is in your boys interest to have a relationship with their mother. The court will of course decide what this should be in line with any investigation completed and in line with what is in your sons best interests.
The mediatior will be able to sign off the application form that you need to make the application to court - as you have only just recently attended.
Can I clarify anything for you?
Kind Regards
Caroline
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I do worry that going back to court i may lose contact with my boys and that mum as managed to cover up her actions as the boys have also begun to say that mum as removed the locks and filled the holes and repainted . However thank for your advice
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 1 year ago.
Hello
I understand were you are coming from on this and that this is a difficult position for you.
The mother could easily say that you are making all this up to frustrate the time that your boys spend with her.
On the other hand if the boys are adamant that this is true ans they are telling you such things - which parent in thier right mind would not want to know what was actually going on.
Whilst I do believe that children will tell one parent what it is that they want to hear, and then do the exact opposite to the other parent - I can completely understand that you can only go off what you are told by your boys.
I can see that you have attempted to utilise alternatives to court including mediation - but things are still unresolved.
This puts you a difficult decision.
My advise is that you are honest to the court. Tell the court exactly what you have told me:-
- that the boys have made disclosures to you
- that you just do not know what is true
- that you are not trying to destablise the relationship with the mother in any way, that you are simply trying to get to the bottom of what has gone on
- that you have tried mediation but you are still none the wiser and therefore you are asking for the courts input by way of a report to include the boys wishes and feelings.
I think that if you make your application with this approach, rather then a hostile approach - then the court will understand.
I hope this helps you.
Please do not hesitate to ask if I can assist you further.
Kind Regards
Caroline
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