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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34282
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have an unusual situation. my ex wife and I have been separated

Customer Question

I have an unusual situation. my ex wife and I have been separated now for 3 years and starting proceeding s for a divorce. We have a 7 year old son. I live near Chester. When we seperated the ex then decided to live down south near to Luton and then move in with her new partner. As my son was well settled in school it made sense for me to look after as the main carer. I have done this for 3 years. We have had an agreement and have a planned yearly schedule where every other weekend we meet half way and then he stays down there for the one night and then we do the same again the next day, totalling approx 7-8 hours of travel. I have got to the point where I actually do not want to be doing all this travel anymore and the more time spent on the road actually puts more of a chance of accident. It has also compromised his involved to participate in sports at weekends. My son is also starting to say that he doesn't want to travel - naturally I might add. I have done to accommodate and be agreeable as do appreciate he needs his mother in his life despite the circumstances. I have had meetings and conversations with the ex to say that she needs to live near her son, but invariably the conversation gets heated. What can I do legally as I really want a fair share of responsibility and want my son to have a balanced parental upbringing.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What extra time does he get on holidays?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We normally split Easter so 1 week each, then summer holidays 3 weeks down there and Xmas we do 1 year he spends Xmas there for a week and swap that around following year.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
To add teacher training days - that's me also.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We agreed late last year on a 3 weekend schedule to which she agreed, but it really is impractical this whole set up in order for my son to be involved in sports clubs etc. football matches are fortnightly.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HI
What happens in the half terms?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
From 21st Sept 2015 - 29th Aug 2016 me 113 days, ex wife 73 days under the current plan.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
1 week each for half terms
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Would you be willing to offer more time in the holidays instead of the weekends?
Have school raised any concerns over the travelling?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi, absolutely a good compromise, I offered for her to look after my son in holidays and I look after in term time which I thought would be a good compromise. He gets on really well at school and no concerns re schooling or travel from there.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
A note to add, in the discussions I mentioned that of course I would more than happy and flexible at any point if she wanted to see Max and come up that this would be ok.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiTravelling so far on alternate weekends cannot be good for your son - and it does indeed make it difficult for him to develop his friendships and activities at weekends.Given the regular pattern of school holidays and half terms it is possible to ensure that he spends time with his mother every six weeks (more if she comes up for the weekend once in a while) - and of course he can spend longer with her than one nightThe starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation and a mediator trained to work with young people so that your son's voice can be heardhttp://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/If that fails then you may need to present her with a fait accompli and simply give her the new pattern and leave it to her to make a Court application if she wishes.I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further detailsClare
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare,Thank you so much for your advice. I just want the best for my son. I will go back to the term time solution. This will give a good quality of life for all, but I know the ex will be challenging with this so mediation will be the answer. Thank you for your help.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
You are most welcome - I do hope all goes well
Clare