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Harris
Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2724
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I have just tried to make an application non molestation

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i have just tried to make an application for a non molestation order on my ex wife. There has been an incident where she has punched my daughter, also 2 incidents where she has left them home alone (my daughter is 14,my son 10) whilst she went out drinking!..there are also incidents where she refuses to take my son to the doctors appointments for his asthma. Lastly, since i complained to the police about the above - she has reported me for harassment to the police....contact prior to this was by email only ( as i had blocked her my text as she was also abusive towards me). The police have now issued me with a PIN - stating my ex wants no further contact in any form. Since this she is going through my son for all communication - which has now started causing alarm and distress for him (hes 10!), i have told my son i will no longer communicate through him - and do it through her mum ( as previouly toild to do by 1, the ex and 2 the police - both told me to do contact through my 10 year old or the ex's mother) - however the ex has now told my son - she has been to court to get them to stop me contacting her or her mother and not to go within 5 meters of her - and said to him - if i do not go through him for communication - then i could go to prison for 5 years! - this has just resulted in more alarm and distress for my son.
When i just took my application to the court, they said as the application was solely aboout protection for my children - i couldnt make an application for a non mol, instead i needed a C100 form and have to go to another court. Is this correct??im at my wits end - she is essentially getting a gagging order on me so she can do as she pleases, leaving them etc.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Hi, thanks for your question.
Please can you confirm the exact order that she has in place against you and the wording? Has a return date been set regarding the order that she has obtained?
What are the arrangements for you to see the children?
You are correct that it is inappropriate the she demands that communication is only to be done through your 10 year old son.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she hasnt got any order against me as of yet - she has told my 10 year old that she has been to court to get me to stop contacting her and to not go within 5 meters of her, and told him i will get everything in the post soon. That was last tuesday the 19th. Shes told him i must go through him for communication or i will go to prison for 5 years!
at present i have been issued with a PIN regarding contact to my ex - stating she wishes no contact in any form.
I see my children regulary - 2/3 times a week overnight - depending on my shift pattern. This has been the case since i left in Jan 2009.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for confirming. If she did in fact obtain an order preventing you contacting her (eg. a non-molestation order) then you should have been served with this soon after it was made. Furthermore, the family court would not make an order that contact be made through your 10 year old son.
What are the reasons for you needing to contact her? Has your non-molestation order application been granted?
Furthermore, are social services involved regarding the incident between her and your daughter?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
my reasons to contact her were just various kids stuff really - ie what time is she picking them up from me,parents evening, but recenlty it was about my sons health and the issues raised in my question - ie leaving them home alone and not taking max to the doctors. I did report it to the police - all they did was visit the house and check if there was food in the cupboard! also i did report it to social services who sent me an email stating "at this time the concerns raised have not highlighted any information that would lead us to be conncerned for the childrens welfare and as a result the case will be closed to social care"
with regard to my application for a NMO - the court refused to take it - they said to me i cant apply for a non mol as the orders i was asking for (i asked for my ex not to hit the children/not to leave them home alone between 9pm/8am,to keep all doctors appointments and ensure any medication is given/taken,to communicate with me via my email and only regarding the children, and also not to tell the children about any such order or undertaking arising from my application) were soley about my children - and thus i had to apply to the childrens court - and needed a form C100, and apply in a different court. This is what had confused me i thought the non mol would protect my children.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
The non-molestation order is to protect you against violence, harassment or intimidation from her towards you.
However, the C100 would allow you to apply for a child arrangement order (for the children to live with you or for them to spend time with you) as well as prohibited steps orders (preventing her from doing certain things in relation to the children - such as not to leave them alone at home) - both applications can be done on the same form and under one fee of £215.
The court will allocate a CAFCASS officer to carry out background checks and also to obtain your views and her views on the applications, as well as speak to the children given their ages. During the proceedings the judge can decide whether a more detailed assessment needs to be undertaken (either by the CAFCASS officer or by a social worker).
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
is this something i could do on my own?as i can not afford legal representation. It sounds like it would be lengthy, complicated and expensive. I do not qualify for legal aid.
i also worry i will end up losing here! my daughter (strangely even after being hit by her mum) is on her side, my son just stuck in the middle - and just confused by it all. I have no faith what so ever in the family system being a man, it sounds sexist - but it the impression ive got since dealing with my divorce, and now all this mess.
If she has applied for a non mol against me - to stop me contacting her - will the court allow that??as in no contact what so ever? I feel the police are on her side and the "system"
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
also ive read we would have to try mediation before the court would process my application, however due to my PIN this would be impossible for me - would the court accept that?
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
You are able to represent yourself in the proceedings, however I would suggest you do consider legal representation as this will assist in preparing the relevant documents and if she is representing herself, your representative will assist in negotiations and smoothing the process, instead of having it argued in court directly between both of you.
In relation to her applying for a non-molestation order, she will need to prove to the court that there is, or a threat of, you abusing her, harassing her or intimidating her. Even if she were able to obtain a without notice order against you, the matter must return to court within 2 weeks and for you to provide a response to the allegations and be heard in court as to whether the order is necessary.
In relation to the C100 application, mediation itself is not needed - however you will either need to attend a mediation assessment session yourself to see if mediation is suitable (which it probably will not be) or you can apply under one of the relevant grounds in the C100 for mediation exemption on pages 15-18 of the C100. I do not think the PIN will apply for exemption purposes.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Hi, this question remains open. If you found my information provided helpful please could you rate my response positively as I will not be credited for my response without a positive rating.
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