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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 70200
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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My partner is being harassed by a former partner,continually

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My partner is being harassed by a former partner,continually looking to contact her by email to intimidate her. Their relationship broke down over two years ago when she left their house because of his intimidating ,controlling and bullying behaviour. She has lived at a secret address for 18 months but lives in fear of him contacting her. We're looking to change her email address as a matter of course but would like a more permanent resolution with no contact whatsoever ie possible restraining order. Your advice would be appreciated.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Why are you involved in this?Just thinking of your protection.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Because of a sense of responsibility. I've seen first hand how much this has - and continues to - affect her life.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
I really wouldn't get involved in this. You have to protect yourself. I do understand and I know you have been socialised to protect women but I have lost count of law abiding men who have ended up in trouble because they were sorting out issues that were their partner's.On your primary point, how many times has he emailed her and is she responding?On no account take any action yourself.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No she has not responded to any emails but that doesn't make them stop. The sight of an email from him in her inbox literally freaks her out. Thanks for your advice regarding taking no action..that's why I'm talking to you first as I'm fully aware of the alternative consequences!
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Well, also, women do sometimes manipulate men in these sorts of situation. I don't kwow whether it applies here or not but I see it often enough to warn you of the risks. Some people are professional victims. Do not get involved with one of them.All this is simple enough. All she has to do is change her email address or ignore his emails. I realise that she is telling you that she finds it upsetting but if you actually assess whether or not receiving an email is a distressing experience it doesn't really stand up to scrutiny. If she is intent then she can report it to the police. However, if she has been responding then that will come out.Another alternative is to send one email back telling him to stop and if he continues she will call the police. You make sure she does that not you.You just leave it to her though. Not your problem. If your former partners started emailing you making a pest of themselves you wouldn't invite her to resolve it. Probably you wouldn't make any allegations of domestic abuse either.Can I clarify anythng for you?Jo
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
While you have made some valid points here,clearly you've not been in that situation yourself.Knowing your partner, understanding their concerns and supporting them unreservedly is a key part of the whole process. Your view appears to be a very dismissive one.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
I understand. I have seen many men who think they know their partners and they are wrong.I realise you are displeased. Do not place yourself at risk. Men find out too late that they are being manipulated all too often in the UK.
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