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Alice H
Alice H, Solicitor/Partner
Category: Law
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My girlfriend has made allegations on me , we got

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My girlfriend has made allegations on me for assault, we got into an argument over something silly and it did get a little bit out of hand. I came back from a night out so I was intoxicated with alcohol, we argued and things started to get physical, and I admittedly reacted in a way of sheer anger which I know is totally unacceptable. She does understand how the past few weeks she has been driving me mad and hurting me, which I think it was all the anger and emotions building up inside me that made me explode. I did get physical as did she, and I know this is totally out of character on both our behalf. Well, after our argument she went home and she had a little mark on her face and some on her arms, her family pressured her to go to the police station to make a statement. She came back to me the next day acting normal like nothing happened and made up to me as she knew she was in the wrong but knew the way I acted was out of character and it was a mixture of emotions, anger and hurt building up inside me that lead to this. At this point I did not know she contacted the police, which two days later police came into my flat and arrested me in front of her which I am now on bail. I am a young man who is at university, and I know what I done is classed as assault, and it is really worrying me because I do not want it to affect my career. She also assaulted me previously in the past where I’ve done nothing, which I know I could contact the police but that is something I would never do. I am on bail now until two more weeks and I am worried on what could happen to me. I know she was pressured to go to the police and she wouldn’t want this on me, so I know she is willing to do anything to get me out this situation although her statement says otherwise. My question is what do I do now? And what can she do so that I do not get charged? If she retracts her statement, how does she go about this and what does she say? If she goes back on her first statement, could she get in trouble herself? Also she went back home which is up north in Manchester so does she need to go there if she wants to retract her statement? I was arrested in West Midlands where we both go to university, so has the case been passed to the West Midlands so can she go there to retract her statement? Also when I was arrested in my interview, I said no comment for everything, since I was not in the right frame of mind and I was scared that they would twist my words as I was feeling fragile. I would appreciate it if you can provide me with any advice or help, and advise me on anything I can do or she could do to get me out this situation. Thank You.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
What would you like to know about this please?
Expert:  Alice H replied 1 year ago.
Yes that's fine. I will send you my landline number shortly.
Alice H, Solicitor/Partner
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2849
Experience: Partner in national law firm
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi, what do you mean by what I like to know about this?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
What is your question about this?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have asked the question above in my first statement?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Ive read your post above and it does not seem to contain a specific question?In short, her allegation against you is accurate ?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes partly although she didn't mention everything. My specific question is how do I go about this so I do not get charged? I have never been arrested or have any criminal offence.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
No, well, these complainants never tell the truth wholly.There are no real magic wands. In fact, they probably will charge you. Domestics are prosecuted fairly potently.If you have no previous and you admit the offence they might give you a police caution but that isn't much better than a charge.If you cannot truthfully deny the allegation then it would be better to make a no comment interview and see if she attends court.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
They will probably summons her even on a first incident as that is their current policy but the reality is that women regularly ignore summonses and in the end they have to throw their hand in.But you do take the risk that she will cave in under pressure or that you will have a row and she will suddenly remember that she has no loyalty to you. Fighting these things does give her power over you for a few months.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Don't accept her excuses about going to the police. She is an adult. She could have refused. She choose to make a statement which she would have read over and signed knowing full well the impact. This is her fault not anybody else's.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
She can retract but they may well use the retraction to get a summons for her. In fairness, they can't have her wasting their time and resources on her relationship issues. It is not your fault and it is not theirs.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
We all have rows. We don't all summons up the police to play at them.Can I clarify anything for you?Jo
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Jo for the help you have given so far. I have never been in this situation so I am just a bit lost and confused about everything. I did make a no comment interview, so lets say if it was to go to court what is likely to happen then? My cousin who is studying law and is on her way becoming a solictor told me that is she does retract her statement the most she can get right now is a fine for wasting the police time since it hasnt yet gone to court, is this true?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So as for this situation, what is the best way for me to go about it? and what is the best thing she can do to get me out this situation? I am a second year university and having this on my case will really affect me, I am career minded and she knows I do not deserve this now since I've been so good to her.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Your cousing has absolutely no idea I'm afraid.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Don't take advice from students. They have no idea over procedure and quite a lot of them are wrong on law fairly regularly.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
If she says that what she said was untrue then she could be charged with perverting the course of justice and then she will be going to prison.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Wasting police time isn't appropriate here.If she says that she doesn't want to support a prosecution but what she said was true then neither offence are made out.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Although, in my opinion, we shouldn't be wasting resources on women who do that. One police attendance is all that should be available to any woman. Thereafter if they return they should be left to it.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What do you mean by neither offences are made out? sorry
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
it is not perverting or wasting police time.It is just the usual nonsense that women do because it is free to call the police. If they had to pay £10 to summons up the police to their stupid family rows we would never heard about domestic violence again and we might be able to get on with proper crime in the UK.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
But what they will do is summons her on the basis of her retraction. That is their current policy. They don't do it in every case but they do in the majority.Although the majority do not involve first instances. Usually these women are professional victim with a long list of wasting police time on twaddle.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
In terms of what to do1 If you can't deny the offence then say nothing2 Plead not guilty and see if she attends3 Put the Crown to proof.4 Find yourself a normal girlfriend who just leaves you instead of calling the police to take revenge and if you can't do that then get yourself a dog. You will be much better off with a dog than a girlfriend who keeps getting you arrested. Better company and doesnt make allegations of abuse every five minutes. Normal women don't do that.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
what happens if i plead not guilty, and she doesnt attend court? I think right now having a dog is better, I never thought she would do that to me, this has been the first time she has called the police on me.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So on her behalf she can't really do nothing at this stage?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Yes, and the problem is that you only find out people are like this when they do it. In fairness, the overwhelming majority of women get through their whole life without ever even once raising the abuse card.That is not to say that you didn't misbehave. I've known a few men who misbehave too. I just left. I didn't waste hordes of public money and police time on my relationship issues.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
If she doesnt attend and you are charged with common assault then they might get one adjournment and a witness warrant for her arrest maybe. she will just have to spend a few weeks avoiding the police.From her point of view, she can retract. They probably know she is reluctant anyway
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
The only problem with that is that they will probably put her in touch with domestic violence advisors and various other people who will encourage her to believe that nothing is ever her fault and that she needs to call the police every time somebody shouts at her.Really seriously you should be running for the hills when this is over. She will do it again in no time. She will learn from this how to get you out of the house and have control over you.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Just as abusive to call the police every time you can't have what you want as it is to be violent.Generally speaking, the ways in which men abuse are against the law. The ways in which women abuse are quite often entirely lawful.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
right.. so if she doesnt attend court and avoids the police for the next couple of weeks? what is likely to happen to me?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I know if she didnt go home she wouldn't have gone to the police, it was her family who pressured her. I know at the end of the day she still wrote and signed the statement and I can't believe she has done this.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So if she does retract, what does she say without getting herself into trouble?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
They will, in the end, have to offer no evidence.Don't accept that excuse from her. Women always come out with that nonsense. It isn't their fault because apparently their mothers, or their sisters, or next door's cat forced them to go to the police and make a statement in their own words which they signed despite beiing warned that anything she said may be given in evidence.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
She is an adult at least biologically. She choose to go to the police. She could have refused. It is her fault. The pressure her family put on her wouldn't stop her going out and getting drunk I will wager.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Even though the police took pictures of the bruising on her arms and mark on her eye? That is evidence? But no evidence that it was me right?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Yes, it is evidence. They will have to exhibit it. They could do that through the officer who took the photographs.I would dispute the evidence though and ask them to prove it was her that was seen.Also they have to prove causation. Unless she is going to come to court and give evidence they cannot prove you caused it.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
If she had actual physical injuries though then probably they will summons her.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Right you've given me some good advice and have really made me look at things from a different perspective in terms of my relationship with her.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
you said dispute the evidence yes, what do you mean by prove it was her that was seen?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Yes, and dispute causation.Obviously you can't lie but you can put them to proof.You might want to do some work on temper. The world is filled with people who will wind you up deliberately so that you react and they can then complain about it.In my experience, you annoy people more by ignoring them than reacting.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She said to me she is willing to do anything to get me out of this and it was in the heat of the moment and was pressured. So what would you recommend in terms of getting me out this trouble? What is the best thing I can do, and what is the best thing she can do?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My temper is good, and she knows she has wind me up over time and hurt me so bad which is why it has lead to this, although I am not saying how I reacted was acceptable.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Oh yes, she will say that now.But when you next won't do what she wants she will be on the phone to the police talking about power imbalances and controlling behaviour and other nonsense that she will have read online.This is another form of abuse. I know you can't see it right now because you are caught up in it and you probably feel guilty about what happened. Summons up the police so that you can have a prosecution hanging over somebody's head for you to use as a bargaining chip for months on end might not be unlawful but it is classic female abuse.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I understand where you are coming from, and you are partly right in what you are saying. I do feel guilty but at the same time I know I do not deserve this as she knows this aswell. I've been with her for almost 2 years and I know her, she never wanted this on me and she didnt know it would be like this and she is now saying shes willing to do anything to prevent me from getting charged.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It's just stressful for me, and I can't bare the thought of having a criminal record. Like right now I can't get this off my mind and it is getting to me
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Not sure how to phrase that differently. There are no magic wands. You can only reduce the damage caused.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Sorry wrong post.It is stressful. i understand.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So Jo, Where do I go from here?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Please recommend if there is anything possible I can do and what she can do to erase this situation .
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Well, only what I have said above.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Please could you clarify with me, I am still confused sorry
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
In terms of what to do1 If you can't deny the offence then say nothing2 Plead not guilty and see if she attends3 Put the Crown to proof.4 Find yourself a normal girlfriend who just leaves you instead of calling the police to take revenge
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What do you recommend?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
1 If you can't deny the offence then say nothing2 Plead not guilty and see if she attends3 Put the Crown to proof.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
There are no other actions that you can take.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If i believe she wont attend court, is number 2 the best option?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
what would happen if i cant deny the offence and say nothing?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
You would need to follow all three steps if you intend to rely on her not attending.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
oh right, what do you mean put the crown to proof? sorry I feel stupid, but I'm not understanding some things.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
"If she says that she doesn't want to support a prosecution but what she said was true then neither offence are made out." - can you clarify what you meant by this too please. thanks
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Ask them to prove what they allege.So don't answer the charges really.If she says that what she originally said was true but she doesn't want to cary on then that isn't perverting or wasting police time.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
oh right and if that is the case i won't be charged and will be let go free?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Oh no, they will charge you.They just might have to drop the charges at court.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
what are they likely to charge me with?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Common assault probably.I haven't seen her injuries obviously.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What are the consequence if i was to be charge with that?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
it is bruises on both arms, and a mark on her eye
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Common assault then.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes, what do you do get for common assault? imprisonment, fine community service?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So is there no way out for me?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Up to six months custody but probably a community order.I'm not sure what else I can add to what I've said above about what will happen.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry, I just want to know if there is anything possible at all to not be charged. Even if she retracts her statement, isn't there something she could say like she was pressured to and that it was in the heat of the moment.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I know you have said if she retracts her statement and says what she said was untrue she could get done for this. But is there any way of her saying anything?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
She can say that but it won't deter them.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If she said her statement was untrue and she just wanted to get at me in the heat of the moment? She would get punished?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
That is perverting the course of justice.They will either disbelieve her and summons her.Or believe her and charge her.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
and if they charge her what would it be at this stage?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Probably perverting the course of justice.A wasting police time fine is possible but not likely.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So do you think the best option for me is to go with the steps you said, and on her behalf she cannot really do nothing?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Not that will make it all go away.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
what can she do to make it better for me then? edit her statement?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Also I am on my placement year this year, this would affect it right?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Not sure what you mean by placement?I've really covered her position above.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My degree at university is a sandwich course and it includes a year in industry so working, I start that this year so potentially it can affect that
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Jo, I am fairly clear on most of what you have said. But what I want to ask is that on her behalf are you saying retracting the statement is not really an option since it would get her in trouble?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have read over our conversation, I got that what I have to do if i cant deny the allegation is say nothing and plead not guilty, and for her not to attend court. Is there any way I can deny the allegation?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I've never been in this situation so I don't know what happens, I am on bail and return in 2 weeks, what happens when i return?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
I don't do employment. I can't immediately see why it would impact.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
They will either charge you, rebail you or take no further action.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What would it take for them to take no further action? I think that is unlikely
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I know I've asked this, but retracting her statement, there is no way she can go around it without risking herself in trouble?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
They will either disbelieve her and summons her.Or believe her and charge her.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
f she says that what she said was untrue then she could be charged with perverting the course of justice and then she will be going to prison.If she says that she doesn't want to support a prosecution but what she said was true then neither offence are made out.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If she says that she doesn't want to support a prosecution but what she said was true then neither offence are made out. - how does she go about this?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
She can retract but they may well use the retraction to get a summons for her.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If she says that she doesn't want to support a prosecution but what she said was true then neither offence are made out, so she could be summoned for that?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am so sorry Jo, I know it seems like youre repeating yourself but I am still quite confused
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Yes, she could be summons and she will be.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So could you please tell me clearly what she is best of doing to help me, but not risking anything for herself at the same time
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
I am only going to be able to tell you what I have said above I'm afraid.As I have said several times, there are no magic wands.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
and that is not turning up to court and ignoring the police?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Yes, she can do that.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So what do you actually recommmend she does?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
You've said what I have to do, and I know I can't do much now. But I don't think you have made it clear what is the best route for her to go down in terms of helping me
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
That is because I cannot advise her to commit a contempt of court as I have already said.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Oh ok I understand
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If i were to deny the allegations, what would happen?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
You can't do that because that would be untrue.

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