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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34106
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Hi, is this live?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I want my son, aged 17, to leave my house. My solicitor advised that if I write to him asking him to leave, giving reasons, there should be no come back on me.Please advise of the wording and "wording" that protects me from any come back.BAckground info: my son has previously made false allegations, soc serv. and police investigated....case closed.I am a teacher.His school history is littered with poor/extreme behaviour incidentsMy son continues to verbally threaten me with my job e.g. you've just shouted at me "Get out of my house" ...not very appropriate for a teacher...you wont have the job much longer, no house, nothing. See below.He is not in education or employment.He demands money from me........but spends any I give on cannabis or alcohol (at least that's what I see him bring home and use)Yesterday I gave him £15 as he cleaned the house up, but was demanding 25. He spent it on a takeaway. This morning I ate some of the left overs. He claims he wanted that for his lunch and then demanded the money back. I refused and showed him treats i had got for him from shopping. He threw them at me. I ended up shouting at him to "Get out of my house". He then said he had recorded me shouting and threatened my job with it.I want to know if I am "at risk" in my job as a teacher should he try to do his damnedest to make allegations of how uncaring I am as his parent....and I want to know what to do. I am at my wits end with his manipulation and verbal abuse.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further informtaion firstWho else lives in the property and when will your son turn 18?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Well, he even claims he doesn't live here, when the electoral roll register man called...refused to sign..they have now destroyed paper relating to him living here.....so does that actually mean anything? Other than that no one else lives here...divorced 3 years ago.He will be 18 on 23 Jan 2017
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Where is his father living?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am his father....mother remarried, lives in Surrey...
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Btw...I can't talk on phone, as he listens in and confronts me afterwards.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
My apologies for the erroneous assumption I should know better.Could he go and live with his mother?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
When he made allegations, she had to take him while they investigated, but then she wanted him to return. Basically he is as rude and demanding to her and I doubt her husband would allow him to live in the marital house. The last text I have from her says she has had enough of him too.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Right so at present he is NOT in the house - he is staying with his mother?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No no, he lives in my house. The allegations were just before his 16th.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
At the time I tried to insist he stay with his mother, but Soc Serv. near enough accused me of emotional abuse for not letting him return. As a teacher...they would have then informed the LADO.....my career record marked! So I had to let him back, to avoid that.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
As I said, he is a nasty individual, who I do not see changing in terms of his ever more manipulative antics with all agencies and people around him. He claimed income support, unbeknown to me until child benefit was stopped. But I am left supporting him with no support from his mum or the state. That isn't the problem though, it is the regular abuse I receive and threats to try and manipulate me into giving him money.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
You can exclude him from your home - you simply have to give him at least 28 days written notice to leave the property and at the end of that time change the locks.If he then tries to re-enter you will have to call the policeIt would be sensible to have set him up in an alternative home first - renting a bedsit for him for a limited time or something similar.However it is inevitable that he will then approach Social Services for support - and equally inevitable that it will be noted on any enhanced DBS check that is done.However he is 17 not 7 and it should not be seen a serious problem.Please ask if you need further detailsClare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks, ***** ***** per my initial request, do you advise I give reasons for exclusion from the home in the written notice? If so, what reasoning can I put, based on what I have described?By DBS I take it you mean any future employer of mine will be informed of whatever is recorded by social services, and from experience they don't seem to have any regard for impact on my employment.You say, sensible to set up a bedsit...is that just a nicety. If I didn't would it harm me in any way?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
There is no requirement to give an explanation.You could simply use the words "as a result of your behaviour" to cover it.Yes that is what I meant about the DBS.Setting him up until he is 18 means you have still provided for him and cannot be criticised - nothing more