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Harris
Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2723
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I am a very happily married man who has, unfortunately, never

Customer Question

I am a very happily married man who has, unfortunately, never in 20 years had the courage (or plain decency) to tell his wife that he has a female friend. For what it is worth, the friendship is more 'chummy' than friendship. It is most definitely not a sexual relationship or an affair. Sometimes a year or two go by with out us making contact.
I cannot get an answer on the phone from my friend. She has recently been extremely depressed, sometimes expressing a desire to end it all.
Not replying is out of character so I am seriously entertain g calling at her local police station (my own is 40 miles away)to ask if they will pay a visit just in case anything awful has happened. (I did leave a message on her voice mail informing her that I would call the emergency services if I heard nothing from her). There may, of course be a perfectly rational explanation to her silence - I certainly hope so.
MY QUESTION TO YOU is..am I entitled to police confidentiality? I am more than happy to go be called by phone or to pay them another visit for any reason whatsoever. But it would distress me beyond measure if they decided that they would have to pay me a visit at my home. My wife and I are retired, but I think it would destroy her faith in me altogether if she were know any of this,based on a patrol car turning up the house to say either that your friend is fine, or the worst has happened,
Do I have RIGHT to have my privacy in this regard respected. It seems to a layman such myself that it would be gratuitously hurtful and damaging to domestic harmony if the police believed they have a right to turn up in such a way, when I am fully prepared to discuss any of this with them at the police station. Thank you very much for your time.
Roger
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Hi, thank you for your question. You are entitled to make an anonymous report to the police. However, if the police later feel that they should be questioning you regarding the report, then they are able to contact you to enquire further. If the police did want to discuss things with you then can call you and request that you attend a police station and it does not necessarily mean they will turn up to your door.If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I would hope that the police appreciate that any supposed 'marital deception' on my part - not being a criminal offence or of any public interest or concern - is, for them at least, a personal and trivial matter. What matters in this case is checking on my friend's well-being and letting me know and, if necessary, asking me to come to the station on a subsequent occasion. My nervousness is, in part, due to the fact that I cannot get to the police until Monday morning an am teaching in Holland from Wednesday for a few days. It goes without saying that I should be devastated if, in my absence, the police were to descend on my wife.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
I think you should make it clear to the police, if you do contact them today, that you are away for work for the weekend and if they have any enquiries they can contact you by telephone
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Nothing more to add, other than to know if I have any RIGHTS in the matter.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. Your reference to to 'not necssarily 'means ....as I understand it, that theymay still reserve the RIGHT so to do.Are you saying that I am not OBLIGED to leave them with my name and address .....but only my phone number?
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
You have a right for the police to take into consideration the discreteness that you are outlining, however, if there are any reasons that they would urgently need to reach you they may attend the property. Yes - you are not obliged to give them your details if you are making an anonymous referrals, but most police departments can obtain your telephone number if you make a report by telephone.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Many thanks. I suppose that worst case scenario IF my friend has committed suicide, then my voicemail can be traced to me anyway. I am willing to let the police have my mobile number but I assume that you are saying that I am not OBLIGED to give them my home number/address,Perhaps it would make sense to tell them everything I have told you and ASSUME they will respond with discretion
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.
Yes - I think that may be the best course of action