My name is ***** ***** I know the Derby courts well.
So far as the court is concerned enforcing a Consent Order is not about "punishing" the offender but about re-establishing contact as soon as possible - this is what the Judge meant when she said that matters had moved on
Only where there are repeated breaches are the community service/imprisonment options ever considered - and again only where there is a chance that this will solve the problem.
There is no point at this stage in applying for a Child arrangement order stating that the chidlren live with their father UNLESS the eldest child is saying that this is what she wants.
There is no longer any legal concept of Custody - it disappeared in 1989 and two years ago its replacement "residence" was also replaced with the "Child Arrangement Order"
Given the Order that is currently in place you shoudl be looking to change the order so that you collect form school on a Friday and have the chidlren until school on a Monday and also ask for one night in the week - but again only if the children want this.
Whilst it is lovely that you see the children as being yours as well do NOT use "we" and "our"in court or in front of the CAFCASS officer.
I am uncertain as to whether or not there is to be a further hearing - if so then there are some possible options in dealing with the court and with CAFCASS (and no you cannot change the Judge)