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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 30929
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I had to leave my husband last year even though we separated

Customer Question

Hi, I had to leave my husband last year even though we separated over 3 years ago due to finding out he had a 10 year ketamin addiction he had hidden, and finding out he was a compulsive liar. We had sold our house up north as his family put a lot of stress on him to move back south.. His parents who are very very wealthy promised us that they would see is right, as there was a 5 figured bank account for him and his brother, my husband is to inherit a lot of money and his parents have been harbouring money.. They wanted me to do a prenup when we met, and now the relationship has died all I am getting is hostility they have never helped when I went for help, they have made sure that my husband looks poor and I know they are waiting for us to divorce.. There are no assetts, they have made sure of that.. I went to child maintenance to claim for help financially and he is angry at me for that, he has just moved 150 mile away with a woman and her 2 children.. And now he reduced his payments by £130 a month and expects me to travel an extra 130 miles a month to collect the children, I know that it would only be an extra £20/30 a month on my outgoings, but I am already down each month and I am living hand to mouth.. I have 3 children and even though my eldest isn't his child, when I met my husband he knew I was solely responsible for my son and he has never acknowledged him.. He got a place last year playing American football for Gb and through all the problems I still got him through his GCSEs with good grades.. But I am trying to put him through college.. All my savings I had saved over the years had to be used to help me get through the last 3 years as I was left with all the responsibility of providing for my three children. The short of it is, I relocated because of him, and he expects me to move to a two bedroom house so I will have more money to pick the children up 40 miles away when he drops of, which makes it a good 80 mile round trip.. his girlfriend has been very abusive and intimidating and cannot see the wood for the trees as she believes everything he says, and left a voicemail to ask why I've contacted child maintenance.. They had worked out a figure on the calculator and thought it was ok to pay less without warning.. I paid for a good barrister who told me when the nisi had been granted, then that would be my chance to try for a settlement figure, as it would be in his and his families interest to do right.. He starts contact in July to see the children, as he has not made any effort to see the children, but I get blamed constantly for stopping him.. And I have made sure I have never stop him as I wouldn't give him the satisfaction, I tried going through his girlfriend last week which went well, but she made a comment which has left me concerned, that my husband cannot cope with our children on his own.. I have tried being the bigger person, and been very accomodating i never say a bad word In front of my children, I encourage their relationship I have agreed to all the proposals my husband wanted with the children, which are all the original dates I set down last year and in mediation in January which he went back on everything that was agreed.. It is all a mess and I do not know what to do... I apologise for the long message.. I have been to two solicitors who won't touch me because I have no finances, my husbands parents rang my parents telling them they better have deep pockets, as they are going to use their solicitors.. I have not a penny to my name because I'm solely providing for my children, my little uns were doing after school activities, and since he moved further down south with his partner and decided it was ok to pay less they have had to stop doing their activities..and I'm at the point where I've made a life for me and the children down here now, I have a nice job in a school teaching part time, everything is close to work and the children's school, I have an amazing network of people that have provided consistency and stability and really are helping me through everything, it just seems so unjust that once we are divorced he will come into a lot of money.. And his family are very frightened for some reason.. I am happy to walk away without a bean just for an easy life, but it's principal that I fight for what is right so the children can get out of this vicious circle..I am now stuck in rented accomodation I can't get onto housing or council lists unless I get evicted or not pay my rent, which is ridiculous as its my priority to provide a roof over my children's head.. I have endured years of psychological abuse from my husband and his family, and I'm tired of it all.. And now I have a very innocent psycho girlfriend to throw into the equation who is obviously not happy because their finances are being questioned.. Is there any advice you can give me?
Submitted: 5 months ago.
Category: Law
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Oops just re read and I apologise for all the mistypes I know it is a little all over the place, but I am so worried about it all and it does all come down to finances, there is no communication, so for now I am happy to go through his solicitor.
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further informtaion first.

How old are the children and why are you doing the travelling?

What do you actually wish to know?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Hi, My eldest is 17, then 8 year old and 5 year old.I haven't done any travelling and I refuse to especially with him dropping his maintenance by £130 he was paying £300 and now it's dropped to £170 a month. By putting extra cost on my finances and budget, he expects me to pick the children up 40 mile away from where I live, he is going to pick them up from home.
I have agreed with his solicitor to the dates he wants to have the children and everything else, but I live in the same town we moved to, and it is him who moved 150 mile away.
The barrister I paid to see said I could put in a settlement figure once the nisi had been granted, I just wanted to know if I can do this? And how I go about doing it.. Even though on paper it looks like he has no money, when we are divorced he is to come into a lot of money that his parents have stashed away.. And money he will inherit. Am I in a position, or is there anyway that I can fight for a settlement so that the children and I can have some security... Also is it right under PR responsibilities that he is responsible to help with bills etc to help in the everyday up keep of providing for the children? Or is that what child maintenance is for? Obviously it is about the finances, as we have been left with nothing and it all seems unjust.. The thing that keeps going through my mind, is why his parents wanted me to sign a prenup before we got married and he has no money..
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

What assets are there and what income does your ex have?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
No assetts as his parents have harboured his money.. I haven't a clue what his income is as he moved away I know he's working part time, he's also advertising his business on Facebook that he is not declaring
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

What do you mean when you say that they "harboured" his money?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
They bought his flat off him in 2009 and only gave him£20 k and they recently sold it and his parents made quite a lot of money from it and in January last year my husband told me his parents said there was money for us to move because they had made a lot more on the flat than they expected.. His father told me there were 5 figured bank accounts for himself and his brother.. Also his aunt who is in a nursing home everything is to be left to my husband and his brother..his parents have been very clever, they offered to pay for mediation, and solicitors they offered to put money in my account when my husband didn't pay... But they have never kept to their word...

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