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Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1621
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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A I have emotional unstable personality disorder. I live

Resolved Question:

A I have emotional unstable personality disorder. I live with my partner who as a nine year old girl who loves with her mum. The mother as threatened to take the fathers access away if I do not either leave the house when the child is there or I have to stay in my bedroom. There is safe guarding that I do not look after the child alone. I don't want thatresposability. Can the mother stop me from being in the same room as the child when my partner (the father) is present? Can she stop me from using my own home? She said that if I was cooking then the dad as to take the child out because the kitchen is on the same floor as the room they would be in. I do not have a violent history, no sex offence, I may at times neglect to eat or occasionally be sick to punish myself however I am fully engaged with mental health team; con, support worker and pyschiatis. I await DBT. I used to drink I was clean for 7 yrs before the troubles in this relationship lead me to relapse as I worked in the field I asked my boss to send me to rehab and I have been clean again for 3 yrs in December. My cpn as not been contacted regarding any social service issues the case was opened as I went into hospital I had taken extra pain killers not with the idea of suicide and the case was closed as I didn't have access to the child alone but because the mother was made aware she is trying to threaten me that the child will be took away if I do not do exactly as she wants. Her conditions are contrary to my mental health advice and they are making me feel more ill. What are mine and my partners rights. Please. Jayne
Submitted: 2 months ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Harris replied 2 months ago.

Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:

-Are there any court orders in place regarding your partner's child, if so what are the terms?

-Are social services involved, if so what is their level of involvement?

-Do you and your partner live in the same property?

-What are the arrangements (eg. how often and for how long) does he see the child?

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
No court orders. Social services opened a case as I went into hospital having had too many pain killers not to kill myself. The rang both parents my partner and the mother and the case a was shut immediately afterwards.
My partner and I live together in a property we rented together I furnished the property and he moved in two weeks later .
She chops and changes the time to suit her needs , she as just added two hrs on a Wednesday night so she can do tia chi . In the holidays inset or bank holidays he as her for 12 hrs Monday and 12hrs Friday 9:30-21:30
school term he has her from school Finnish until she finnishes gym getting her home for around 20:20 on Monday
on Friday from school Finnish until getting her home for 21:30
School normally finishes at 15:30 each day.
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
He is on the birth certificate,and if I wasn't clear safe guarding I do not spend time alone with the child and I don't want to. She was happy to add extra access when she thought I was not going to be seeing the child having recently meet her for the first time I believe the problem would have happened with anyone she presents as not wanting another female in the child's life. Making it perfectly clear Jon (my partner)must step up his game as she thought he was a terable father claiming he is not doing enough taking her out. She knows we are on benefits and can't afford the things her new partner can provide.
Expert:  Harris replied 2 months ago.

Thanks for confirming. Unfortunately your partner is in a difficult position, as the mother will have reasonable grounds to state that there may be a risk to the child if you are there - I appreciate that this may not be the case but unless there has been a formal risk assessment, the mother will likely continue to state this.

The father will need something formal in place regarding the arrangements, and the child will need a routine as it is not in the child's interests for the arrangements to keep changing.

In the circumstances I would suggest that he makes a referral to an independent mediator (you can find local ones here: The mediator will assist them both in reaching an amicable agreement that is in the child's best interests. If mediation does not help, then he will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and the court can make a decision regarding the matter - an independent CAFCASS officer will be allocated to assess background of both of them as well as you to see if there are any risks to the child. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:

1.The wishes and feelings of the child concerned
2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision
4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision
5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering
6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs
7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedings

If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you

Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1621
Experience: Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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