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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 70198
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I would like some advice regarding restraining orders.

Resolved Question:

Hi, I would like some advice regarding restraining orders. Basically, my boyfriends ex wife never liked me and doesn't like me spending time with her two children (reason - jealousy, even though she left her husband - my boyfriend), she has said many horrible things to my boyfriends about pretty much everything - the fact that I post pictures of us spending time together on facebook, us giving schildren some food from Latvia (I originally come from Latvia), us wanting to take them on holiday over there (she said she will never give us their passports even if the court says we can take them on holiday abroad) and many other things that I find really unreasonable. The problem is that I get really upset and message her asking why she is like that and it's not fair on the children or any of us really. She rarely replies but gives hard time and abuse to my boyfriend verbally. It has been nearly a year and a half and if you look at our facebook conversations it looks like I am the one messaging her and she is ignoring me (which she isn't, she just attacks my boyfriend). Few weeks back we started hearing things from the children that apparently she has said bad things about me and that made me very upset and messaged her asking why does she need to brainwash her children and manipulate like that.. After that she turned around to my boyfriend and said she is going to go to the police and get a restraining order so that I can't contact her or the children..
My worries are that even though I know I haven't done anything bad let alone harass her, she has got these facebook messages that don't tell the full story but make me look bad even though I was only trying to defend myself.
Could you please advise me on whether I need to be worried and seek some more help?
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 11 months ago.

How many messages were there from you roughly?

How many without her responding?

When was the last?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Not more than 25 messages in total from me. 9 without a response and the last one was 06/08/16. The first even message was 24/08/2015.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 11 months ago.

That is harassment I'm afraid. There is no way around it.

However, all the police would do is give you a harassment warning

They are not going to give you a restraining order over this. They are not going to bring the matter to court if it is just 9 or so messages on Facebook.

Can I clarify anything for you?


Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Does the content of the messages matter? I have never threatened her or anything..
Do you know whether I can be banned from seeing the children if this harassment warning is issued? It looks like what she is trying to do is getting me banned from seeing the children which means that my boyfriend will have to choose between us as me and kids won't be able to be in the same house anymore. And of course she knows that he will have to chose the children which is why she has been working on this thing. Can't believe I fell for it.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 11 months ago.

Not really. It will just mean they can't rely on S4 harassment but that wouldn't be appropriate for harassment warnings.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 11 months ago.

I dont do family but they are not going to stop you seeing the children for this reason.

Half the country are on harassment warnings.

Jo C. and 3 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Perfect! Thank you very much!