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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34233
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Can I write to my ex wife and state that I am a self

Resolved Question:

Can I write to my ex wife and state that I am a self litigant asking her to retract a statement she made in the court that I had tried to force her on the bed for sex. This was the answer she gave in reply as to why she hit me with a large crystal vase when I was being assaulted for the umpteenth time. I was told this was perjury but my barrister did not push the point and I feel his decisions were influenced by him seeing I was a bad guy. I was by the bathroom door and nowhere near any bedroom. All our four young sons made statements that the judge was aware of stating that mum was violent and dad was not.I feel she is vengeful and I want her to clear my name. If my course of action is not appropriate I ask for your guidance as to what I can do.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further informtaion first.

What ongoing proceedings are there?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Clare, there are no ongoing proceedings and I just want her to correct as to what really happened. So again simply-::.Am I within my rights to ask her for a retraction of her lie as I have been ignored by our former friend?. If I do not get a reply what is my next option. I am not a saint just a man who wants justice so I can hold my head up. THANKYOU Clare.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am sorry but there is a risk that doing this would amount to harassment.

There are no ongoing proceedings so this would be nothing to do with being a litigant in person.

You can of course write to her - simply pointing out that she has lied.

However the fact is that this matter has been dealt with by the courts and is over.

Yes she lied - sadly many do - but she is never going to correct that and you can be certain that she will use any contact with you as evidence of your being abusive.

From what you have said the important people - your children - know the truth, and your friends will also know the kind of person you are - and anyone who beleives her clearly someone who did not know you well enough to be entitled to claim to be your friend.

I am sorry - I know that this is not what you wish to hear - but it is the legal position as it is

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Clare, I understand what you say but her reply to my question was in a court of law which I can prove is perjury which I feel swayed the Judge completely in making his final judgement and I lost my home and the custody of my two youngest sons. I still have in my possession the vase she used on me and the statements of all four lads who said they had been abused over many years and that they had seen me assaulted by her several times. The notorious Judge Victor Hall was in charge of the proceedings and had evidence in statements from our fours sons, our own family doctor and a psychiatrist who treated me for depression because I could not cope. Surely if Iasked her to tell the truth so I can stop some of the snubs which plague my life if she wants to have me charged with harassment I can present the evidence of our four sons, our family doctor and the psychiatrist.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am so very very sorry but legally this matter is done with and over

Writing to her about this now would be harassment and none of the other evidence would be seen as relevant and would not be looked at

People who know you know you did not do it - anyone who does was never a friend (and yes personal experience here)

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Clare, having gone through the legal system which is still so biased against men I feel that forever I will live in the eyes of people who were my friends guilty. I need to clear my name so I can live in peace. To end this fiasco I feel their may be a possibility of my taking action in the Civil Courts. Thanks Claire, I await your answer.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am so very sorry but no there is no action you can take

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Clare, in your initial reply you said-::, 'you can of course write to her- simply pointing out she lied'. If so can you set out in your reply to me the exact words I should use.Thankyou!.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Well I would suggest you do not do it - and in any event it is a personal and not a legal letter

But you are entitled to write and say

"I am sorry that you felt that you had to lie about what happened between us and hope for the sake of our children that you will one day be willing to admit to what you did"

Only write the once however

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Clare, THANKYOU for your advice. this was evidence in the court to decide custody and property that was granted in her favour. She said she feared for her safety in an injunction and backed up by the lie about attempted rape which seemed to convince the judge. My contention is simple, The judge said I had exaggerated the violence. A senior policeman who saw the jagged remnants of the vase still weighing 1lb.12 Ounces laughed at me and said, 'people have been hit with worse. After I left home Charles my 13 year old son was admitted to the Accident and Emergency Hospital with bruising to his head and body and with ligature marks around his neck. He told the police 'My mothers tried to strangle me'He had petechial haemorrhaging around his neck which is caused by extreme pressure. The Polce did not charge her and the Social Services gave her anger management advice only. there were further assaults on all four boys after I left. I still have in my possession the written evidence of our 4 boys saying mum was violent and that they saw dad violated. Backed up by our family doctor and a Psychiatrist of my alleging her violence had driven me down to despair.I feel that the divorce court was not about convicting her but about a settlement of family matters. Surely her assaults are a criminal matter and should be dealt with in a criminal court. I await your advice but my allegations and our four boys evidence plus the input of our doctor and the psychiatrist were of nought to the judge. My question to you Is 'can I pursue a case in a criminal court with the evidence I have from us seven people'.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I await an answer to the above statement of mine. Nobody was on trial it was just property and custody that was being discussed. my question is-: Can I an any way get her to face justice for the documented evidence of our four sons and myself who were victims of abuse by her?. Dr Inman our family G.P. and Dr. King the psychiatrist were aware of our allegations years previously and the Judge made his decision knowing that seven of us had made statements regarding her violence over many years. THANKYOU Clare, I await your advice. Surely this is criminal.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

My apologies for the delay

It is a matter for the police to decide whether or not to take action.

Your sons can report the assaults to the police

Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you