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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33310
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I am hoping to go down the route of my partner adopting my

Customer Question

Hi, I am hoping to go down the route of my partner adopting my daughter whom is 5 years. We have been together for 2 years and we have a baby together. We have a business together, we have just bought a house and we are both attending university, myself law and my partner photography. My ex has paid his £5 a week csa on and off over the last 3 years and only after continual chasing from myself and CSA. Over the last 2 years he has had no contact with my daughter. The year prior to that, I set up on so many occasions for him to have contact, but he didn't show, was late or said he was unable to come and to change the date. He has not worked for the last 4/5 years of which i know of. During the relationship he was physically violent, infront of my daughter when she was a new born and police where called. During the relationship he was heavily reliant on drugs 'Weed' and I have reason to beleive he is still smoking the drugs. In addition, in the last 2 years he has made contact with his own birth family. (he was adopted as a child as his birth parents sexually abused him). This alone hughly concerns me as I do not want my daughter anywhere near such horid and disgusting people. He has had access to my address and number and my parents address for the duration of this time. When he does contact me, he always contacts to say he hasn't seen his daughter because i won't let him, yet he has made no attempt to see her, no birthday presents, no cards, nothing. My daughter only has contact with her birth dads parents, whom we see 2/3 times a year taking it in turns to travel. No other contact with any other members of his family have her been present. In contrast, with my partners family she has aunties, uncles, and many young cousions which she has become attached too. I don't beleive he will agree to the adoption and I beleive he will make himself out as the doting dad. if this is the case, what could happen? I am concerned that this may open up the doors to contact which hughly concerns me due to the people whom he surrounds himself with.
In addition to my concern with allowing contact, I also beleive that the judge can allow consent to be dispensed with. What reasons would the judge allow this? If the birth dad does contest the adoption, and says he wants to see the child, what view is cafass and the courts going to take on this.
Submitted: 2 months ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 months ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you

May I ask why you wish to go ahead with an adoption at this time?

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
It has been something i've considered for quite awhile. Having a child with my partner, forming a business together, him taking the role as father, it felt only right that we as a family should be able to secure the bond between him and my daughter. In addition, my daughter has just started school. She knows her surname to be that of mine, however her legal surname is ***** ***** dads. There are a number of practical reasons aswell, Medical emergency from school, permission for school things, travelling abroad, inheritance due to having our own child and the business.
I understand there are residency orders and parental responsbilty orders, but with both of these opitions her bio dad would still have a say in her life and what she does which could hinder her in future, apart from the fact she has no idea who this man is.
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 months ago.

My apologies for the delay

The Judge does have the power to grant the adoption even if the father objects BUT only if Social Services (who will deal with this - not CAFCASS) believe that this would be in the best interests of the child

Social Services will indeed interview the father - and probably the grandparents and it is likely that they will be reluctant to end the biological bond unless it is absolutely clear that this would be better for the child

Whilst his lack of interest in the child is helpful none of the reasons you have given for the adoption are particularly convincing - and Social Services will in fact be concerned that she is not aware of his identity.

There is a risk that he will ask for contact - but given hillock on involvement and the potential risks you would be able to limit this to a local Contact Centre once a month.

However since it is likely that this will fall by the wayside very quickly it may well be that this will aid rather than hinder your case.

Your starting point is to approach your local Children's Services.

Be careful what you say to them as their approach is not the same as yours and you do not wish them to feel that you are simply "painting him out" of her life - which is what their suspicion will be

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Thank you for your responce.
Can I ask, what would be a good enough reason to apply for an adoption? As i was under the impression that my situation was the perfect reason for an adoption to take place.Also, My daughter is very much aware of who he is. She knows she has a birth dad, but that he dosen't see her because he wasn't ready to be a dad. Thats as far as it goes, but she is very much aware of the situation and that her bio dad is nowhere to be seen, she says he dosen't have a house and dosent know how to look after her.I also have a book of who her bio dad is which i will share with her when she is older, it explains the ins and outs of abuse which is why I won't show her it until she is much older.With regards ***** ***** risk of him asking for contact, would the judge put the adoption to the side and then grant a contact order even thought I had initally applied to court? Or would the judge rule no order on the adoption, and then would the bio dad have to apply to court himself for contact?With regards ***** ***** a picture, I am in no way trying to paint him out of her life. I simply beleive that her bio dad becoming a part of her life is in no way going to benefit her and worse could effect her physoclogically and emotionally. She knows the family she has and that is what she knows to be her family, distruping that would have a negetive effect in my view.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 months ago.

That sound good - although the abuse should not be in the book (social services will wish to see it)

Odd question - are you planning to get married?

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
The book in question was the book created for the bio dad as a child. so the abuse is the abuse he suffered by his birth parents. He asked me to keep it and give it to my daughter so she knows who he is, which I will do so. As I say, she will know who he is, but what I wish to stop from happening is him causing upset and hurt and pain to us all as a family. Yes, We have every intention of getting married. It's a very big thing to me, and when we do get married I would like it to be done as a whole complete family, which is what is perhaps holding off any wedding planning at the moment. ?
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
With regards ***** ***** risk of him asking for contact, would the judge put the adoption to the side and then grant a contact order even thought I had initally applied to court? Or would the judge rule no order on the adoption, and then would the bio dad have to apply to court himself for contact?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 months ago.

Ah I see about the book.

The father would indeed have to apply for contact - but it would be unwise to force him to do so

If he asks for contact then offer it at a local contact centre once a month immediately - he will mess it up and it will help your case no end.

The marriage and the completion of the family circle is a very good argument for the adoption - and if you are willing to maintain the relationship with the paternal grandparents that will make your case very strong

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I completly understand what you are saying, and thank you so much. Can I get clarity on one final thing. In your opionion, If he contests the adoption and we went for it in court, with a barrister representing us, Would you say our case is strong enough for the adoption order to be granted?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 months ago.

The person to convince is the social worker

If you can get him or her to be neutral on the issue at worst then you have good chance of success

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