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Harris
Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2811
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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My wife has been accusing me of being unsupportive of her

Customer Question

My wife has been accusing me of being unsupportive of her mild depression, and is now talking about divorce. Since I found out one month ago that she had a mild affair, everything has come to a head and she has admitted she has not loved me for at least 12 months. In the last month of have been especially careful to show care and attention to her but she says it is 'too little too late' and 'pointless' and 'over the top' and she does not believe my intentions. My question is for advice on what I should be doing, given her talk about divorce, to protect us as a family...we have two children. I guess I am concerned she has been building a case for 'unreasonable behaviour': an accusation I strongly resent and contest. Any comment or advice will be useful to me...thank you!
Submitted: 12 months ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Harris replied 12 months ago.

Hi, thank you for your question. In relation to citing unreasonable behaviour in a divorce petition, this is a relatively straightforward fact to prove as all that needs to be demonstrated is that there has been issues of what the petitioner feels is unreasonable behaviour that has led to a breakdown of the marriage - and in cases where parties have not been separated for 2 years unreasonable behaviour is usually the only fact that can be relied on - and unfortunately there is nothing you can do to prevent her proceeding with a divorce under this.

In relation to finances and children issues that are likely to arise out of the divorce, the first thing is not to act too rash or quickly and there should be discussions between you, either directly, or through an independent mediator to address issues and attempt to reach a settlement.

I hope this assists you. If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for your question without a positive rating. Thank you

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Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Thank you, ***** ***** any chance with arguing/demonstrating that she is not thinking clearly...rationally, sensibly, due to her depression..i have a record to myself made over the last month of examples where she has interpreted my action/inactions or sayings/quietness in utterly the wrong way...i.e. negatively/judgmentally. Thank you for any advice.
Expert:  Harris replied 12 months ago.

Do you accept that the marriage has irretrievably broken down?

Customer: replied 12 months ago.
no. not at all. my wife asked me several times over the last months if I thought this was a 'normal relationship' and each time I honestly said yes every relationship has its ups and down and I think our presently stressful situation was/is normal. I honestly did not see a long term relationship issue but I accept I back out of conflict by withdrawing a bit.
Expert:  Harris replied 12 months ago.

Thanks for confirming. In that case you would be able to defend the divorce proceedings if you can demonstrate (by filing a statement) a response to her divorce petition and raise the issues of her depression and other matters you have raised above.

However, I would strongly inform you that the majority of defended divorces are not successful as it is usually the case that if the petitioner has taken the step to seek a divorce, a court will likely agree that a divorce should be granted, and defending it would only add to costs and stress between both of you.